These transcripts are for your enjoyment, but please do not reuse, readapt or reproduce without express written permission. ~ Ken
CAST & VOICE TALENT
SCENE 1: DARKNESS. TV SWITCH IS HEARD. SCREEN FLICKERS TO LIFE. A VHS TAPE IS INSERTED. VHS UI POPS UP AND SHOWS PLAY OVER A BLUE VAULT-TEC SCREEN.
MUSIC STARTS UP.
STATIC AND TRACKING LOSS ELEMENTS DISTORT IMAGE OF SENECA ROCKS THAT FADES TO BLUE CUTOUT PARODY OF PARAMOUNT MOUNTAIN LOGO. TITLE READS, “Coming from CHAD A Fallout 76 Story”.
CUT TO: EXT. NIGHT. GAME FOOTAGE. MOON IN THE SKY. MONTAGE OF QUIET NATURE SCENES. CLOSE UP OF CAMPFIRE.
SIMON: Pull in close. Because I want to tell you a story. Wherever there are woods and shadow, a camp and darkness, there is a story whispered by a campfire just like this one. It’s a story of teenagers who were told not to, but did anyway. A shadow that stalked, and chased and killed. Sometimes there’s a hook for a hand. Other times a chain saw, or a blade. Sometimes there are teeth a little too sharp or an appetite that can never be satisfied. But no one realizes one simple truth: they all stem from just one story. One of madness and murder…woods that should never have been trespassed; a camp cursed with a stain so red that with the passing of years never washes away. All those other stories of men gone mad are just pale copies of what happened right here, 45 years ago, when a red dawn broke on a Saturday morning and the camp remained silent. When concerned neighbors ventured over, they found the entire camp staff dead, slaughtered in the night. The killer was ever caught, but locals knew the truth…that Old Victor Miller had come back for revenge. His true name would be lost to time, but most know him by another: The Sickleman.
SFX: SIRENS FADE IN. POLICE CHATTER.
CUT TO: REFLECTION OF POLICE LIGHTS FLASHING ON TREE LINE
CUT TO: CAMP SIGN THAT READS, “Camp Wannagrindalot”.
TITLE: ONE YEAR AGO
CUT TO: CRIME SCENE OF CAMP. BLOOD STAINS EVERYWHERE.
CORONER: In 2 days as coroner I have never seen such a blood bath.
OFFICER #1: Commander, we setup a perimeter and got the scouts back with their parents. Place is locked down.
CMDR. JOHNS: What are we looking at Hawkins?
HAWKINS: Oh god I’m going to be sick…I’ve never seen so many paper bags…so much blood…oh god…
SFX: VOMIT NOISE AND ANIMATION:
CMDR. JOHNS: Steady son. Come on…man up. Focus. How many did you count?
HAWKINS: Firebreathers were able to excavate part of the collapsed tunnels at the Miller Place. There’s at least 10 bags in there and 2 bodies that were….fresh still. Not even a bag yet…like still a body.
CORONER: Overseer has done lost her damned mind. Did you listen to her holotape from the silo entrance? She was practically raving about the fun we were having with nukes.
HAWKINS: ….why would she do this?
CMDR. JOHNS: No idea. She’s the last person you could’ve suspected. Why don’t you head back to HQ and get cleaned up? You’ve been through enough here and were damned lucky to get out of there.
HAWKINS: Thanks Commander. Is that District Attorney Fletcher? What’s he doing down here?
CMDR. JOHNS: He wanted to take charge of this case because of who she is. Damned pencil pushers running the show now, just like the old days. Anyway, get out of here. On your way out, tell those kids to hold back. I have some more questions for them.
OFFICER #1: Come on Hawkins…let’s get you a hot shower and a whole lot of whiskey.
HAWKINS, OFFICER AND CORONER EXIT. JOHNS WALKS OVER TO FLETCHER INTEROGATING THE OVERSEER, FLANKED BY TWO POLICE OFFICERS IN POWER ARMOR, LIGHTS FLASHING.
FLETCHER: No, no, no. Ma’am, I’m sorry we’ve been through this all already. You slaughtered 12 people. 12 of the very Vault Dwellers you were sworn to protect, is that not correct?
OVERSEER: No, YOU are not listening. Don’t you see what I’ve done? Can’t you SEE? What the hell have you people been doing the last year? Where are the towns and farms you were going to build? You’ve been blowing each other apart and casually playing around with nuclear weaponry like this was some kind of game. These are people’s lives. Did you ever wonder WHY you are all of a sudden so fucking casual about all of this? This is survival we’re talking about! How many times have you died Fletcher? How many? How can you all be so casual about death?
FLETCHER: Beggin’ your pardon ma’am but how can YOU?
CMDR. JOHNS: We done here? We need to move her to a secure location.
FLETCHER: For now, yes. I sent a runner to get Doc Taylor to do a complete psychological assessment. The Judge is going to want a clean conviction on this one.
CMDR. JOHNS: You sure it was wise to notify him already? He’s been swingin’ the hammer of judgement down pretty hard on some Raiders up north lately.
FLETCHER: Would YOU be the one to want to tell him after the fact? She’s given a confession already. I’m headed back to HQ to complete booking. Let’s go boys!
FLETCHER, 2 OFFICERS AND OVERSEER LEAVE.
PAN ACROSS CAMP. CHAD IS ARGUING WITH A MR. HANDY AND BRIAN.
CHAD: Look tin head I busted my ass out here with these brats all summer, what do you mean I ain’t gettin’ paid?
STEWART: The terms of your agreement with Camp Wannagrindalot indemnify the camp in the event of natural disasters, unnatural disasters, casual situations, or untimely deaths by misadventure that lead to a forced closure Master Chad.
CHAD: Don’t you Master Chad me you floating octopus. Where’s my damned caps?
BRIAN: Excuse me Scoutmaster Stewart, allow me. I am just tickled to be able to showcase the new skills I’ve learned after completing the Crosstich and Contractual Law Merit Badge. Ahem, Chad is it? If you consulted Chapter 89 of your Camp Counselor Guide it means that if the camp is unable to complete its season for any reason, no one gets paid.
CHAD: This is some bullshit!
BRIAN: Oh my virgin ears! Swearing is disgusting. You’re a very dirty birdy and have been a terrible role model to our innocent Ghoul Scouts!
CHAD: Whatever Virgin Brian, you should fix your shirt, your buttons look like pencil stub nips.
BRIAN: Why I never!
CHAD: Hey! Counselor Stewart…look over there! Ghoul Scouts getting it on right there on the beach!
CHAD BENDS DOWN. PANEL IS OPENED. ELECTRICAL SPARKS ARE HEARD.
CHAD: Now let’s see here…
STEWART: What are…what are you…don’t do that! Get out of there! What are you doing?
BRIAN: Tampering with General Atomic International proprietary technology is a Federal offense and punishably by up to 25 years in prison.
CHAD: Don’t you have beavers to milk or something for a merit badge? Ah! There we are. Let’s just delete your programming here….put you back to default.
STEWART: No don’t do that you, you bastard I…I am…
BRIAN: What did you do!
CHAD: Let’s see. Ah! Here we go. Let’s make you a mail carrier.
HANDY: Mr. Messenger protocol activated. Programming complete. I have a message that urgently needs to be delivered, but I am to stalk people throughout Appalachia and mess with them a little along the way. Ha ha haaaaa! Let’s see you fools follow me on my route from hell! Helllooo! Can anyone help me? I have an urgent message to deliver! Oh look a rock! I’m going to fly into it for 10 minutes. HA HA HAAAAA!
CHAD: Welp. That’s done. Everything’s coming up Chad.
CHAD STORMS OFF.
BRIAN: Nifty! Well, I’m off to pack up and head off into the amazingly possibilities of life in majestic Appalachia!
PAN ACROSS CAMP TO A CABIN WHERE VINCE IS SEEN WITH KAREN AND MARY ANN.
VINCE: Okay, okay…calm down kid. Go over it one more time.
KAREN: Oh it was something awful! Fast Eddie had taken me up to Lover’s Leap…said he wanted to “show me something”. Well one thing led to another and…
MARY ANN: Did he show you his sweet stamp collection?
KAREN: Well no, he…
MARY ANN: Or maybe the majestic hairless West Virginia flying squirrel?
KAREN: Now that you mention it…
VINCE: Look what happened after? You were being chased?
KAREN: Oh it was awful! It was the Sickleman! He lobbed Fast Eddie’s head right off. I tried to stay quiet and hide, but when I went to check my PipBoy I accidently turned on the radio and flashlight…and…and he…. (cries)
MARY ANN: There there…say! Why don’t I whip out my Nukelele and play you a sweet song to cheer you up?
CHAIR MATERIALIZES AND SHE STARTS PLAYING
VINCE: What…what did you just do?
MARY ANN: It’s a chair and banjo.
VINCE: I can see that…where the hell did it come from?
MARY ANN: I don’t know…I just sort of “placed it”. Isn’t that the weirdest thing? I had a very unfortunate evening last when when I pulled a grand piano out of me somehow after eating some spoiled vegetables.
VINCE: (Sighs) I picked the wrong week to quit Sting Wing Venom…
MARY ANN SITS AND START PLAYING
MARY ANN: Country Roads….
VINCE: NO! None of that…thank you both. If the 5-0 have any questions for you, we’ll follow up.
VINCE WALKS OFF. MARY ANN AND KAREN STARE AT EACHOTHER AWKWARDLY. ANOTHER CHAIR MATERIALIZES AND KAREN STARTS SINGING WITH HER.
MARY ANNE: COUNTRRRYYYY ROADDDDDSSSS TAKEEE MEE HOMEEEEEEE GONNA DIGGGG A SHALLOW GRAVEEEE
KAREN: COUNTRRRYYYY ROADDDDDSSSS TAKEEE MEE HOMEEEEEEE GONNA DIGGGG A SHALLOW GRAVEEEE
PAN OVER TOWARDS HUGO INTERVIEWING SIMON, JAKE, AND AMATA
AMATA: …after a thorough investigation of the Miller Place it had occurred to me that the message must’ve meant the plot of ground around the sundial. From there we discovered a hidden survivalist bunker where we found the bottle caps collection.
JAKE: All those bottle caps! We would’ve been set for life!
SIMON: Nah…we’d only be able to fit like…30,000 or so in our pockets.
HUGO: So the legends were true! This is going to be an amazing expose piece that’ll really add some facts to dispel a lot of the rumors around the Sickleman mystery. So Simon, this is when you found Officer Hawkins.
SIMON: Yeah, he’d been down there a while. We accidently set off a trip laser and barely got out of there before the whole place was blown up.
HUGO: Hang on! I need to get this on mic.
HUGO SWITCHES TO THE ROCK OUT EMOTE WITH THE MICROPHONE STAND.
AMATA: What are you doing?
HUGO: It’s fine. Just come closer so the mic can pick you up.
JAKE: I mean why are you standing like that?
SIMON: Are you have a stroke?
HUGO: Look just take our RBTS Radio audience through it. So, there you were…trapped in the boat house, the Sickleman slashing at you all.
AMATA: Thankfully the 5-0 busted in and apprehended her.
CHAD STROLLS BY IN THE BACKGROUND.
CHAD: Hey SIMON!
CHAD: Eat a dick! (Laughs)
SIMON: God damn it Chad…
HUGO: So the mask comes off and you are shocked, just shocked to see the Overseer!
AMATA: Yeah…it wasn’t who I thought.
JAKE: Hey…it’s okay. We stopped the killings at any rate.
HUGO: An entire summer however, stalked by a shadow…and then to be in that boat house face to face with the killer. It must’ve been terrible!
SIMON: Yeah it was terrifying. I think Jake may have soiled himself.
JAKE: I did not!
SIMON: I do recall some really shrill screaming.
JAKE TAKES CLOTHES OFF AND PUTS ON BOXING GLOVES.
JAKE: Right…come on. Fight me bro.
STOMACH GROWL NOISE.
SIMON: Oh…man I’m starving.
STOMACH GROWL NOISE.
JAKE: Yeah me too.
HUGO: Amata, would you mind answering a few more questions about your investigation?
AMATA: Sure, you boys head on to find someone…err…something “to eat”.
SIMON: Put your pants on PollyAnna, let’s get some take out….and maybe that backpack I’ve been craving.
JAKE PUTS ON NUKAGIRL OUTFIT.
SIMON: God damn it Jake.
PAN ACROSS TREELINE TO TIGHTROPE WALK ACROSS CHASM.
PATSY: Our BroFit training program like totally gets you the right build for the end game and stuff.
ETHYL: What is the end game?
MOOSE: It’s the end game dude…uhhhhh dudette. Look lady, it’s rough out here. Right over there? Like 12 people were murdered. Bags everywhere.
ETHYL: Oh my god!
PATSY: Yeah like, you remember what’s like to die and stuff. It stings and things. With our BroFit program we can help tank you up so you can be ready for anything.
ETHYL: Oh…alright then. How much is it?
MOOSE: No, no, no…hold up. First you have to pass the entrance qualifier to even see if you can handle the tire throwing, mudpit slinging, snallygaster hurdling power of our accelerated program.
ETHYL: Ummm…okay. How do I start?
PATSY: See that tightrope walk? We like need you to test your Agility and stuff.
MOOSE: It’s super easy. You just scoot your way across.
ETHYL: I don’t know it looks kind of high…
MOOSE: Heh, no sweat off my balls lady. Lets go Pats! I wanna take a dip in the lake before we meet up with the Chad and the kid.
ETHYL: Well hold up there you musclebound behemoth! Give me a minute. Okay fine. Here I go!
PATSY: Whoa…whoa…whoa. You can’t go over like that!
MOOSE: Yeah, I mean you’re carrying like 100 pounds of gear and what…90 pounds worth of junk?
PATSY: You try and balance your way across with all that crap and lady you’re gonna rain down faster than fallout.
ETHYL: Oh! I hadn’t thought of that. Here. Hold on to my things. See my Fixer there? You keep her safe. That’s Bertha.
PATSY: Oh don’t worry…
MOOSE: You can totally trust us.
ETHYL: Okay….here I go….whooa…..whooooaaaa…..don’t fall Ethyl you can do this. You can do this. Whoooaaaa….hold on…slowwww…steadyyyy.
PATSY: Baby I’m hungry, can raid that camp cafeteria?
MOOSE: Anything for you my melon farm.
MOOSE PULLS OUT MISSLE LAUNCHER. FIRES 2 AT ETHYL. EXPLODES AND SHE FALLS TO HER DEATH.
ETHYL: OH YOU BASTARDS! AHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
PATSY: Love you baby!
MOOSE: Love you too. Let’s make tracks.
PAN OVER TO AN OUTHOUSE. SCREAMS COMING FROM BELOW.
SUSIE: That was lots of fun Ella! We sure got our revenge on that Becky!
CLOSE UP OF DOLL
ELLA: You shouldn’t take things that aren’t yours or down below you go flushy flushy! Tee hee!
SUSIE: I’m AWFUL glad I found you Ella. I thought I’d lost you!
ELLA: Don’t be silly! We’re forever friends until the Dark Gods rise to cleanse this world!
MOTH PRIEST: Behold the Moth children of the night! What music they make!
MOTH PRIEST: Oh hello my little one! Do you have a moment to guide me to your guardian so I may inquire if they have any luminous, incandescent, transcendent, resplendent light bulbs for my dark mothy overlord so he may flail his dusty wings until he loses consciousness?
ELLA: Oh I like this one! He’s silly! Let’s all go play with matches!
SUSIE: Ummmm…nope! There’s just me and Chad!
MOTH PRIEST: Oh I see…is that your father then?
MOTH PRIEST: I see…brother?
MOTH PRIEST: Well what is he?
SUSIE: He’s…my friend. Ella and I were real lonely for a long time…but now we’re a family.
MOTH PRIEST: How disgustingly wholesome.
ELLA: Tell me about it. I sure wish someone would Tickle My…
SUSIE: NO ELLA! Remember what the Counselor said about that word. Say Mister what are you doing out here?
MOTH PRIEST: I was….drawn here. My lord felt something stirring in the shadows. Something old…and hungry.
ELLA: Let’s go say hello to it! Tee hee!
MOTH PRIEST: Right, if you’ll pardon me, I must venture to the dark places to gaze into the limitless void of the forgotten ones…I also have a luncheon at the golf club at 1. Farewell!
MOTHMAN PRIEST LEAVES.
SUSIE: Welp. Let’s go Ella! Time to go home!
ELLA: Let’s sing our favorite song!
SUSIE/ELLA: Beneath the trees where nobody sees they hide and seek as long as they please and that’s the way the teddy bears have their picnic!
MONTAGE OF LIGHT FADING. CAMP IS SILENT. SUDDENLY…A FLICKERING FLAME APPEARS. MORE LIGHTS. SLOW ZOOM IN ON A CURSED TOTEM WITH SKULLS. PAN FORWARD AND PAST TO THE LAKE.
CHILDREN: (Sing song creepy rhyme style)
On darkest nights, by light of moon
Your young life will end all too soon
Around the waters of Crystal Lake
HE is sleeping for souls to take
Take a lover’s hand and run will you can
Out of the dark hunts the Sickleman!
A DISTURBENCE IN THE WATER. THE SICKLEMAN THEME BEGINS. HE EMERGES SLOWLY WITH A SICKLE IN HAND.
SIMON: There are dark places in this new world, older and far darker than the Old World that burned that October in fire. They sleep and wait and were poured into the lifeless body of a forgotten man. We didn’t know that summer 1 year ago what we would set in motion. That there are things far worse than death. HE is awake now…and if you’re listening to this. I’m sorry. Oh I’m so sorry. I left this tape behind in the camp as a warning. It’s too late…
CAMERA IN 1ST PERSON AS SICKLE MAN APPROACHES. CAMERA TURNS…RUNS. SICKLEMAN APPEARS BEFORE THEM. SWINGS AND EVERYTHING FADES TO WHITE.
SICKLE END TITLE: “The Sickleman IS Here. CHAD A Fallout 76 Story Season 2. Coming soon.”