CAST & VOICE TALENT

• Kenneth Vigue ~ Simon Rex
• Mary Kalopodes-Saunders ~ Overseer
• Christian Mower ~ Mr. Malted, Mr. Handy and Mr. Messenger

 

KEN:                      This is Kenneth Vigue. As the world struggles with a global pandemic, we’ve been working hard to bring you stories as quickly as we can to relieve some of the cabin fever…and, I hope, give you some laughs to break up the anxiety and tension. Also please listen through to the end as I wanted to do some shouts out to our amazing Patrons and supporters of the show. I also wanted to let you know that with the launch of Wastelanders, myself and the cast have been streaming on Twitch at chadfallout76podcast. Most recently on the other podcast I co-host, “The Fallout Hub”, we had a virtual launch party for Wastelanders with Bethesda’s Pete Hines, Oxhorn and Juicehead. It was a lot of fun, and Pete Hines also opened up quite a bit in the beginning and shared some vision for where 76 is going next. I’ll link the video in the show notes. For now, on with the show! This minisode will kick off a few episodes of Simon’s Lost Holotapes. These are some of the original journal stories that don’t fit within our bigger arcs, but tell a little more about his adventures in Appalachia before that fateful morning with Chad that ended in a burial. In this story, we go back to the beginning…the morning of Reclamation Day. We’ll find out what happened in that first week that ended in a nightmare…huddling in the dark as a wailing voice calls to him. A voice belonging to…a Messenger…

THEME SONG.

SCENE #1: INT. VAULT 76. SIMON’S ROOM.

SFX: MUDDLED SOUNDS. WHISPERS. HEARTBEAT. VOICE ON LOUDSPEAKERS IS HEARD ABOVE. VAULT AMBIENT NOISE.

NARRATOR (V): … For when the fighting has stopped, and the fallout has settled, you must rebuild. Not just walls, not just buildings, but hearts and minds. And ultimately America itself. So as we stand here today, we pray that the world will know peace. But, if that is not our destiny, if war must come, we stand together knowing that here in Vault 76, our future begins.

OVERSEER (V):   Good morning Vault 76. This is the Overseer. I hope you all enjoyed the party last night…even those who may have “overindulged” and overslept.

SFX: BED TOSS AND SLOWLY GET UP.

SIMON:                Uhhh…my head. Must’ve drank too much last night. What time is it? Oh shit I missed the opening ceremony! Jake and Amata must be waiting. You’ve been tasked with nothing less than the rebuilding of America.

SFX: CLOTHES PUT ON.

SIMON:                (Sigh) I’m going to miss this place. Wish I could take some stuff with me as a memento…but…orders is orders. Thanks Mom. Dad…wish you guys were still here to see this day. Oh! Almost forgot my brand new PipBoy…slept through some of the orientation…but I’m sure it can’t be too hard to figure out.

SFX: PIPBOY SLOT SLIDES OPEN

SFX: PUTTING IT ON. BOOTING IT UP.

SIMON:                Well…goodbye room.

SFX DOOR OPENS.

MALTED: Proceed to the exit please. This facility will be terminating life support shortly.

SIMON:                Good morning Mr. Malted…or rather afternoon.

MALTED: Yes…afternoon sir. You slept the day away.

SIMON:                Hey have you seen Amata or Jake? Are they up yet?

MALTED: I’m afraid they’ve long since departed sir.

SIMON:                Huh? We were supposed to leave together. Are you sure?

MALTED: Quite sure sir. May I interest you in…one last malted for the road?

SIMON:                Ummm…no thanks. Doesn’t really fit in a pocket. That’s so weird…why would they leave? Maybe they’re just outside the door.

MALTED: I suppose that’s it then? No more malteds. No more kids to fill WITH malteds.

SIMON:                Yeah I guess not. Are these for me? 1 bottle of Rad-X and 1 bottle of purified water. I don’t understand. We were supposed to receive essential supplies? Guess there’s more gear by the door.

MALTED: Proceed to the exit please.

SIMON:                Well see you around! Gotta catch up to Jake and Amata.

SFX: RUNNING UP HALLWAY

MALTED: I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be now. I have no purpose.

HANDY: Please gather these items before you leave sir.

SIMON:                One Stimpack and one bag of RadAway? Is that it? I don’t get…you know…more?

HANDY: No. Proceed to the exit please.

SIMON:                Alright…jeez.

SFX: RUNNING UP HALLWAY

SIMON:                This isn’t what I expected? Well…chin up Simon. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Oh what’s this?

HANDY: Essential goods to build a shack or hovel and make it your own sir!

SIMON:                Oh great! A great bag! Finally! What’s in… umm. There are nails, a hammer and some wood scraps. What am I going to build with this?

HANDY: Please exit the facility. Life support termination eminent.

SIMON:                Right…thanks anyway, I guess.

SFX: RUNNING UP HALLWAY

SIMON:                A…party hat? No…I dunno…armor or protective headgear? Really? A paper party hat? Okay. What the fuck. I’m game.

SFX: WALKING

SIMON:                Something’s wrong here….where the hell is everybody? Overseer’s office door is wide open. She must’ve left already. I need some answers…

SFX: KEYBOARD TYPING.

SIMON:                Let’s see…Vault-Tec Report…Parameters, Operation Procedures…Archived Files…looks like there is a Holotape still loaded.

SFX: TAPE PLAYS

OVERSEER:          Overseer's log, or should I say, direct communication. Because whoever is listening to this had the moxy to try to find out where I've gone. But I'm glad you did. Truth is, I need your help…

SFX: TAPE STOPS ABRUPTLY.

SIMON:                Yeah…how about no thanks. I’ve had enough of your orders. Why are all these entries deleted? No one could stay in here…so why go to the bother of purging records? To hide something from us leaving after the staff did?

SFX: WALKING

HANDY: You cannot leave sir without your most essential tool in Appalachia! Your CAMP!

SIMON:                Oh yeah…I remember these from class. Things is kind of awkward…try to squeeze it into my backback of wood craps here…

HANDY: Proceed please! Step right along!

SFX: WALKING

MALTED: SIR! WAIT SIR! I NEED TO GIVE YOU A MALTED!

SIMON:                What? I’m leaving!

MALTED: YOU MUST HAVE A MALTED! If I don’t make malteds….what ammmm IIIII?

SIMON:                Ah…get off me you crazy robot!

MALTED: Here master...fresh and ice cold! DRINNNKKK ITTTT!!!!

SFX: SPRAY OF MALTED SHAKE.

SIMON:                (Drowning in Malted Milk) AH! What the fuck! Get off me! You’re ruining my vault suit!

MALTED: YOU LIKE THAT DON’T YOU MASTER?!?

SFX: RUNNING

SIMON:                (Coughing) Crazy son of a bitch…I’ve covered in this stuff! Gross! I need to get the fuck out of here. Another slideshow? I’ve had enough of those. Shit…I need to catch up!

MALTED: Wait Master! Come back! You need another malted!

HANDY: Wait sir you forgot your perk….

SIMON:                I’m good thanks!

SFX: RUNNING

SIMON:                What the hell? No one here either? Where is everyone?

SFX: VAULT DOOR BEGINS OPENING

HANDY: Goodbye! Au revoir!

MALTED: DRINK THE FUCKING MILKSHAKE MASTER!

SIMON:                I’m out of here….I have a bad feeling about all of this…

SFX: MUSIC TRANSITION

SCENE #2: EXT.  SIMON’S “CAMP”

SFX: HOLOTAPE CLICKS ON. RAIN.

SIMON:                Appalachia, Day 32: 68F, Rain. I found a ruined campsite with a crumpled tent that I was able to prop up for some shelter. Been raining all day. I am soaked, but hopeful. I’ve been trying to start a campfire using some of the methods Security Chief Vince taught us in our Vault-Tec Survival Orientation, but so far none of them have worked. The wood is too damp…and I have no more tinder. Looking back on the last month since Reclamation Day…this is not at all what I thought it would be. The experience has been lonely. I feel isolated. I’ve tried to make some friends and tag along with some other Dwellers that I’ve stumbled across, but they either run away, attempt to murder me, or simple…vanish. Like…vanish. They’ll run towards a door or around a corner and they’ve completely disappeared. I’ve been experimenting with V.AT.S., but I’ve always been clumsy…so using my PipBoy to scan and plan out the best part of the creature to attack…is a mess. I met my first molerats and as I was using cutting edge technology to determine if I should shoot it in the head or its stubbly little legs, it was eating my shoes and another was dry humping my calf. I’ve decided to head north again as my quest to find Jake and Amata continues. It gets so quiet out here. Back in the Vault we had ever present white noise…the steady hum of the ventilation system…and light buzz of lighting…the murmurs of voices and footsteps moving past my door. Out here the silence is deafening…so much so…that it’s hard to sleep. The past few nights I’ve had a really restless sleep…I keep thinking I’m hearing something off in the distance calling for help. Just…barely there…carried on the wind. I hear it in that space between the dream and the world. It keeps calling for help.

SCENE #3: EXT.  SIMON’S “CAMP”

SFX: HOLOTAPE CLICKS ON. LIGHT BREEZE.

SIMON:                Appalachia, Day 33: 72F, Partly Cloudy. After a disappointing breakfast of molerat chunks in a brahmin milk cereal broth, I heard a voice just behind my encampment calling out repeatedly for help. I armed myself with my pipe pistol, crouched low and cautious and crept over the hill behind my tent. In a clearing was a Mr. Handy, prone upon the ground. It had somehow become damaged at some point decades ago and had he’s been stuck motionless ever since. What a terrifying situation! I could empathize...still traumatized by that time Chad had superglued me inside a bear outfit back in the vault and hunted me with an illegal paint ball gun from the Developer's Room. After some tinkering I was able to repair him and he informed me that he was a messenger and had a critical message to deliver. He promised to reward me handsomely for aiding him in his great quest to deliver this message...and while its unlikely to matter decades later I shall accompany him this morning. You know what? He may be a bot…but it’s nice to have someone to talk to at least. I think things may be looking up. Maybe he’ll even stick around after we’re done. What a grand adventure!

SIMON:                Appalachia, Day 34. Mr. Messenger can kiss my unwashed ass. What a fucking waste of time. After heading to the East, we were set upon by scorched. After a spirited battle, wave after wave of everything from Molerats to ticks the size of hubcaps rushed in out of the woods. I kept telling Mr. Messenger that stealth would probably be advised. Did he listen to me? Oh no, he just casually drifted down the MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD yelling at the top of his lungs, “I have an important message to deliver! I do hope they’re home!” You could hear him from miles away. Eventually for whatever reason he drifted off the fucking road…went inside a Red Rocket and crashed into the wall in the far corner. With hordes descending on us from all sides, I tried to dislodge him, but he just was stuck there. Still yelling about his message. After 20 minutes trying to get his big metal ass out of the corner so we could complete our journey…all the while shooting, smashing and slashing enemies…he suddenly announced that I'd failed him. He said some off-color remarks about my mother and then just powered down. He just shut right down. I just...I'm back at camp and just want this day to be over with. I hope tomorrow is better and I am NEVER helping another god damned robot again out here. So help me.

SCENE #4: EXT.  SIMON’S “CAMP”

SFX: HOLOTAPE CLICKS ON. RAIN.

SIMON:                Appalachia, Day 35. I’ve moved on to the north, but I’m troubled by the increasing cries I hear just over the horizon. It’s that Mr. Messenger again…he won’t leave me alone. It’s like…it’s following me. Just as I get settled…he appears on my map…closer….ever closer. I’m getting scared. What does he want from me? I tried to help him. I…I feel like I’ve made a terrible mistake. I’m pressing on to North Kanawha Lookout tower. I should be able to shelter up there with one eye on the stairs.

SCENE #5: INT. LOOKOUT TOWER

SFX: RAIN & THUNDER.

HANDY: Hellllooooooo? Someone? Anyoneeee???? HELPPPP?

SIMON:                Listen! Hear it? Oh god…why he won’t he go away?

HANDY: I have a messsageeeee to deliver!!!! Someone NEEDS TO HELP MEEEEE! MASTER? I hear you up there….I’m coming up.

SIMON:                Jesus Christ…he won’t go away! Oh God…what is it?

HANDY: Hellooooo up there Master! I need your help. I won’t go away until you help me. I’m getting closer….I have an important message to deliver….

SIMON:                Shhh…oh no no no….he’s on the final landing. If you’re hearing this…don’t help it. Don’t help Mr. Messenger. Run. Run far away…because he’ll follow you everywhere you go. He won’t ever stop. DON’T HELP IT!

HANDY: Hello Master. I have a message to give you.

SIMON:                NOOOOOO!!! (Random screaming)

SFX: TAPE CUTS OFF.