CAST & VOICE TALENT

• Dr. Mark Hauswirth ~ Brian
• Jessica Dickey ~ MaryAnne
• Ray Hauswirth ~ Becky Watts
• Logan Hauswirth ~ Timmy
• Joel De Jesus ~ Pete Myers
• Christian Mower ~ Bruno (Mr. Handy)
• Jessica Duval ~ Chloe the Clown (Robot)
• Kevin Chenard ~ Peter Ennis
• Clint Winberry ~ 76er#1
• Keemo Provorse ~ 76er#2

WRITTEN BY: George Wolf

 

BRIAN:                  Previously on “Nuka World on Tour” (giggles). MaryAnne…

MARYANNE:      That’s me!

BRIAN:                  Oh there you are MaryAnne! You’re doing the intro too?

MARYANNE:      Well I guess so Brian! Say, how exactly do we do this?

BRIAN:                  I think we’re supposed to read these script notes to introduce our minisode.

MARYANNE:      Mind if I go first?

BRIAN:                  Of course my beautiful tauraco erythrolophus.

MARYANNE:      Brian! Did you just call me a majestic Red Crested Turaco bird of sub-Saharan Africa?

BRIAN                   Mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyybe?

MARYANNE:      Oh Brian you sure know how to slide down a gal’s wool socks. Mind if I go first?

BRIAN:                  A gentleman always makes sure the lady goes first.

MARYANNE:      Ahem. Previously on “Nuka World On Tour”! A devilish trap was sprung at Mama Dolce’s by Simon, the bait? Something the Chad couldn’t possibly ignore! Sex! As Chad made his way into the room, Simon emerged from the shadows NOT in fact the supple big chested Nuka Girl! Chad had been VAULT FISHED! Suddenly, Peter Ennis sprang to life emerging from within the leather folds of Simon’s vault suit pants. The Chad, horrified, projectile vomited. Simon cackled madly as Peter Ennis opened his mouth and began to sing a siren song to draw forth the hiding horde of enthralled Scorched to at last rend Chad limb from limb.

BRIAN:                  Oh my clutching pearls! MaryAnne what in the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS are you reading?! We’re going to get cancelled!

MARYANNE:      Well I don’t know. This was in the pile of scripts over there.

SFX: DOOR OPENS.

SFX: LIGHTS SWITCH ON.

KEN:                      We’re really doing this? Okay fine.

SFX: DRUMS.

KEN:                      Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the cocky crooner, Sir Peter Ennis.

SFX: CROWD GOES WILD.

SFX: ORCHESTRA PLAYS MOON RIVER

BRIAN:                  What is happening right now?

PETER ENNIS:     (singing) Moon river, wider than a mile

I'm crossing you in style some day

BRIAN:                  Oh Lord in Heaven I’m going to toss my high fiber granola breakfast cereal! (wretches)

MARYANNE:      MY EYES! OH GOD MY VIRGIN EYES!

PETER ENNIS:     Hey pretty lady. What’s hanging?

(singing) Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker

Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way

BRIAN:                  NO! NO! THIS IS SO INAPPROPRIATE! WE AGREED TO ELEVATE THE LITERARY STANDARD OF THIS PRODUCTION! This kind of outrageous shock and awe SMUT is the death knell of humanity and intellectualism! Out! Out! We’ll never get a Signal Award with this kind of writing!

PETER ENNIS:     (Gasping) You’re choking me!

MARYANNE:      GET HIM BRIAN! BEAT HIM! YEAH, LIKE THAT! BOTH HANDS! RING HIS NECK!

PETER ENNIS:     DON’T BULLY ME! I’LL SPIT!

BRIAN:                  GET OUT OF HERE! AND STAY OUT!

SFX: DOOR SLAMS.

MARYANNE:      Brian! You’re all out of breath and sweating profusely.

BRIAN:                  (panting) I sure showed him! If he pops his head up again I’ll beat him until he stays down!

MARYANNE:      Yeah I think this joke has been played out. What version do you have?

BRIAN:                  Revision 12. Should be in the upper right.

MARYANNE:      Hmmm…this is revision 2. That’s the problem. Here we go. You know what let’s just skip to line 54.

BRIAN:                  And now, presently, and coming up next, a most thrilling conclusion to Nuka World On Tour”, “What Lies Beneath and What Reigns Above!” Hmmm that’s a bit of a grammar word salad, isn’t it? Perhaps a better title is “That Which Lies Beneath and That Which Reigns Above”, or maybe, (sing song style) “There’s Something Under the Ground Dear Liza, Dear Liza and Oh Look There’s Something Up In The Sky Me Thinks It Looks Hangry!”

MARYANNE:      You know what? We’re two pages in. Let’s just get on with it.

MEDIA: CARNIVAL MUSIC RISES.

SFX: METAL CREAKS/DOOR SLAMS OPEN

TIMMY:                Hurry this way!

SFX: MULTIPLE FOOTSTEPS RUNNING/HEAVY BREATHING

TIMMY:                (Out of breath) Its right at the top of the hill

SFX: RUNNING IN DIRT/COME TO AN ABRUPT HALT

TIMMY:                There! Right there! Becky! She just...she just...

BRIAN:                  Calm down Timmy and tell me again what happened

TIMMY:                We came up the hill to check out the Nuka Launcher.

BRIAN:                  The what?

TIMMY:                The Nuka launcher. The rollercoaster they're building. We were watching a group of construction guys dig holes to build the coaster when all of a sudden the ground started shaking. Then a hole just opened up in the ground...the construction guys vanished ...then...

MARYANNE:      Its ok sweetie, go on.

TIMMY:                (choked up) I told her not to get close to it but she never listens to me. She was trying to get a closer look and just fell in! I ran up to try and get her out, she was ok...and then the ground shook again and the dirt fell in....she was gone... I’m sorry...(starts to cry)...I tried to help,it happened so fast!

TIMMY:                (Crys into Mary Ann’s blouse)

MARYANNE:      Shhh...its ok...its not your fault Timmy. Theres nothing you could have done....Brian.....Brian?

BRIAN:                  Hmmm? Oh sorry! Just thinking...

MARYANNE:      (somberly) I’m going to take Timmy for a bit till he calms down...do you think she’s…?

BRIAN:                  No. She can’t be dead. She just can’t! Not our Becky!

TIMMY:                It’s ALL MY FAULT! (crying)

MARYANNE:      Timmy, please calm down. These things happen.

TIMMY:                No, you don’t understand, she has to be alive! After the hole closed in, I could hear her shouting for me. She must be in some sort of tunnel.

MARYANNE:      Brian, what do you think?

BRIAN:                  Its possible. I mean we’re in the Ash Heap. There are numerous abandoned subterranean mining tunnels under the surface.

MARYANNE:      You have that look on your face, what is it?

BRIAN:                  Timmy, after the hole collapsed and you heard Becky shouting for you, what happened next?

TIMMY:                Well, she said something about trying to dine Texas?

BRIAN:                  Trying to find an exit?

TIMMY:                Ohhhhhh...that makes more sense. Then she started screaming....

BRIAN:                  Screaming?

TIMMY:                Yeah...it must have been because of the noise. The ground started shaking again and these pointy crystals poked through the ground....but that noise...I’ve never heard anything like that.....I couldn’t hear Becky after that....

MARYANNE:      Oh dear.

TIMMY:                We got to do something!

MARYANNE:      We will Timmy. Brian, what’s the plan?

BRIAN:                  An excellent question my beloved. I’m not entirely sure, but we’ve got to get down there! But ala this much soil is too much even for my 3 star legendary shovel. We could enter through one of the abandoned mineshafts but there is no way of knowing which one. I don’t have a map and it is like a maze down there. We could be lost for days if we’re not careful. What we need is....

PETE:                     Pst! Hey! Pst!

TIMMY:                Ummm Scoutmaster Brian, there’s a stranger standing behind the ticket stand over there. I think he just pissed at you.

BRIAN:                  Uhhh can I help you?

PETE:                     Yeah, you can...and I think I can help you. See those crystal things popping out of the ground over there?

BRIAN:                  Yes. It’s ultracite.

PETE:                     Ultra wha? Whatever it is, that happens every time the ground starts shaking. Something ain’t right. I tried to tell my sister about it, told her we shouldn’t be digging here. She says they’re just “earthquakes” probably aftershock from all those crazy vault dwellers from 76 launching nukes or something. It don’t add up though. We’ve been touring a long time and I’ve seen some weird shit. Especially when it involves people from the vaults...but this...this is different.

BRIAN:                  (sternly) Then whatever you have to say make it quick. One of my scouts is down there and I don’t have time for idle chit chat.

PETE:                     Alright alright, take it easy. Look, the other day I was scavenging through the surrounding area, looking for supplies to do repairs around the Carnival.  That’s when it happened...the ground starting shaking, those crystal things started shooting out of the ground. I started running, didn’t know which way to go. Ended up running towards the damn thing instead of away from it. Ground shook so hard it knocked me off my feet.  The noise...that God awful noise... then I heard a man screaming...after that the noise was gone. The shaking stopped.

BRIAN:                  What did you see?

PETE:                     Nothing I only heard it. I turned tail and ran, I wasn’t sticking around to be the next victim. I came back here and tried to convince my sister and our troupe that we cant stay here. No one believes me. They tell me I need to fix the air filters, that all this smog and smoke is getting to my brain.

BRIAN:                  Where?

PETE:                     Huh? Oh right! A little southwest of here, at an abandoned mineshaft. Look people think I'm losing it, if you could bring back something to prove I’m not, I’d be grateful.

BRIAN:                  Of course, thanks for the information. I’m going to need you to watch Timmy for us while we’re gone.

TIMMY:                Stranger danger!

PETE:                     The kid? I ain’t no babysitter.

MARYANNE:      We’ll pay you.

PETE:                     Hope you like popcorn and holotape games kid.

TIMMY:                No! I want to come too! I can help!

BRIAN:                  I admire your enthusiasm Scout, but I don’t know what we’re up against. Becky’s in danger, I wont put you in harms way too.

MARYANNE:      We’ll be back before you know it. You’ll be safe here. Right?

PETE:                     Uh yeah, sure thing.

MARYANNE:      Good. Let’s go Brian!

BRIAN:                  After you my dear.

MARYANNE:      (giggles ) Oh you’re too kind.

SFX: BOTH RUN OFF INTO THE DISTANCE

PETE:                     (Hollers after them) If you see any air filters out there bring em back!

BRIAN:                  (From a distance) Will do, take good care of Timmy for us!

PETE:                     (Hollers back) Will do!

MARYANNE:      (from a distance) Oh and one more thing, don’t let him eat sugar!

PETE:                     What? Good luck! We’ll see you when you get back.. (says to self) if they make it back...what did she say boy? I couldn’t quite make it out.

TIMMY:                She said..uh..dont let me eat boogers...yeah that’s it! Nose truffles.

PETE:                     ...Boogers?

TIMMY:                (LIES) Yep...Brians always like (mimics) keep your fingers out of your nose...camperoo...yep cant get enough of those..boogers..mmmm mmm!

PETE:                     Ok then...moving on. So what do you want to do kid. We got the Nuka-Cade. The big top.. or we could try...

TIMMY:                (Gasps) What are those?!

PETE:                     The vending machines?

TIMMY:                (Pronounces it slowly) Vending Machines

PETE:                     Yeah, you thirsty? We got just about every flavor of Nuka Cola there is...except for some scorched version, some vault dweller tried to sell me the other day. I should say we have almost every licensed version of the beverage, so what’ll it be?

TIMMY:                Really?!

PETE:                     Well sure. Haven’t you ever had a nuka cola before?

TIMMY:                (Lies) Yeah. Of course I have. I drink them all the time....Oooh what about that one?!

PETE:                     Ah a good choice, one Nuka Cola Quantum coming right up.

SFX: PUSHES BUTTON/ VENDING MACHINE NOISE/DOOR OPENS/ HINGE SQUEAKS.

PETE:                     Here ya go.

TIMMY:                Wow, thanks!

SFX: TWISTS CAP/PRESSURE RELEASES/POPS OFF CAP/ GUZZLES IT DOWN

PETE:                     Woah take it easy there champ. No need to chug the whole thing all at once.

Timmy:                 (gasps in refreshment) WOWZERS that’s taaaaaasteeey! Woo Hoo! Can we go to the western shoot out now?! I want to win a gu...er prize!!

PETE:                     Uh...yeah, sure, why not, maybe you can win yourself a nifty cowboy hat. Let’s go over the rules though first. Hey uh...you ok? Your eyes starting to twitch there.

TIMMY:                (Giggles giddily)

MEDIA: TRANSITION MUSIC

SFX: FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING/COME TO A STOP

BRIAN:                  This is it.

MARYANNE:      How can you tell?

BRIAN:                  Over there, a patch of Ultracite coming out of the ground.

MARYANNE:      We should probably split up and look around for some clues. Theres got to be something here that will help us find Becky.

BRIAN:                  Good idea. I’ll search up the office.

MARYANNE:      I’ll look around down here.

BRIAN:                  Sounds swell Mary Ann, holler if you find anything.

SFX: WALKS UP METAL STARIS

BRIAN:                  Hello? Is anyone here?

SFX: OPENS FILING CABINET/CLOSES FILING CABINET

BRIAN:                  Nothing, other than a bit of Ultracite on the table and this note. I hope MaryAnne made out better than I did, we don’t have time to...

MARYANNE:      Brian you're going to want to see this.

BRIAN:                  On my way

SFX: HURRIES DOWN THE METAL STAIRS

MARYANNE:      Over here.

BRIAN:                  Good gracious is that a Brahmin?

MARYANNE:      What’s left of it that is. At first, I thought something must have eaten it, but looking close at it the bones are shattered.

BRIAN:                  Shattered?

MARYANNE:      Whatever it was it hit the Brahmin like a freight train, tore right through it.

BRIAN:                  This isn’t good.

MARYANNE:      It gets worse I’m afraid. Here.

BRIAN:                  A holotape?

MARYANNE:      I found it over there on that body. I already listened to it.

SFX: INSERTS HOLOTAPE

MARYANNE:      Brian...its Jack...Jack Woodhouse...

BRIAN:                  Oh. Oh I see.

MEDIA: TRANSITION MUSIC

SFX: SCREAMING ON HOLOTAPE/PUSHES BUTTON/EJECTS TAPE

MARYANNE:      What do we do Brian? How are we going to tell...

BRIAN:                  We’ll worry about that later Mary Ann, right now we have to find Becky. We need a plan. We need to...

MARYANNE:      Brian wait.

BRIAN:                  We can't Mary Ann, we don’t even know if Becky is alive, we have to keep moving before...

MARYANNE:      Be quiet! Listen...you hear that.

BRIAN:                  It's just the fires still burning in the mines...

MARYANNE:      No beyond that.... there!

SFX: LOW DEEP AND VERY SLOW BREATHING

BRIAN:                  Is that breathing? The hillside...its...its

MARYANNE:      Moving.

BRIAN:                  That’s it. MaryAnne you're a genius!

SFX: LOADS GUN

BRIAN:                  You ready?

SFX: LOADS HER GUN

MARYANNE:      Always.

SFX: BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY FIRE/TITAN ROARS/GROUNG QUAKES/ROCKS         ALL

BRIAN:                  There its moving, its going deeper underground

MARYANNE:      Brian look, Where the Ultracite deposit was its gone, there’s an opening, let’s move!

BRIAN:                  Right behind you!

SFX: RUNNING/GROUND CONTINUEST TO QUAKE/ROCKS FALLING

MARYANNE:      Which way do we go?

BRIAN:                  We lost it! Shoot! I’m not sure. Here we’ll use my Knife and mark an arrow towards the exit for each tunnel we take. Where do we start?

MARYANNE:      Well doesn’t really matter I guess, lets start with this one. Best we keep quiet, we don’t know exactly what we’re dealing with down here, or what else is down here with that monster.

BRIAN:                  Agreed, best we use sneak for now.

SFX: CROUCHING AND WALKING SLOWLY/FLIP SWITCH/STEALTHBOYS HUM

MARYANNE:      (hushed) Brian?

BRIAN:                  (hushed) Yes MaryAnne?

MARYANNE:      (hushed) You ok? Ever since, well you know Becky went missing you’ve had this perplexed look on your face. Care to share what’s on that big, beautiful brain of yours?

BRIAN:                  (hushed) It’s just that....

MARYANNE:       (hushed) Is it Becky? I’m worried too but we’ll find her don’t worry, she’s a tough girl I’m sure she’s fine.

BRIAN:                  (hushed) Oh I know she is, that girl’s a fighter. If there’s one thing stronger than her personality, it’s her ability to survive. It’s just this creature...

MARYANNE:      (hushed) What about it?

BRIAN:                  (hushed) MaryAnne, we know Appalachia almost as well as we know the Pioneer Scout handbook.

MARYANNE:      (hushed) Darn tootin!

BRIAN:                  (hushed) It’s not just this creature, whatever this is...it’s not going to stop. It started with the Scorchbeast queen, then the wendigo Colossus we came across in the mines of Monongah. These creatures keep coming.

MARYANNE:      (hushed) I know what you mean. Weeks before Grahm’s disappearance he spoke of an oversized Super Mutant that was rumored to be found deep below WesTek.

BRIAN:                  (hushed) I get this feeling, the same unsettling feeling you would get if you were to fold The flag improperly, or let it touch the ground.

MARYANNE:      (hushed) That bad?

BRIAN:                  (hushed) Worse I’m afraid. All these creatures are appearing and despite all this more and more people are moving to Appalachia each day. The landscape is changing and so is the wildlife. Something is afoot indeed but I just can’t figure out what. Mother Nature isn’t happy that’s for certain and whatever it is that’s coming, we must be ready.

MARYANNE:      (hushed) We will be, after all our motto is to “be prepared”!

BRIAN:                  (Sighs) (hushed) Oh Mary Ann, you always know the perfect words to calm my mind and lift my spirits. You are my fondest treasure.

MARYANNE:      (hushed) Oh Brian, such flattery. You keep it up and I’m going to blush so bright my stealth boy will stop working. (giggles)

BRIAN:                  (hushed) Well in that case I might just...wait stop! What’s that ahead?! Light? Better activate another stealthboy just to be safe.

SFX: FLIP SWITCH/STEALTHBOY HUM/SLOWLY WALK FORWARD

SFX: MOLE MINERS SLOWLY CHANTING IN UNISON

MARYANNE:      Mole Miners!

BRIAN:                  Yeah, quite a few of them at that. I’ve never seen them organized like this. They seem to be chanting...

MARYANNE:      More like worshipping but to who? I didn’t know they had a deity they prayed to.

BRIAN:                  Maybe not a who but a what. Look up front in the center there. I can’t quite make it out, but it seems to be some sort of circular boulder they’re worshipping. Some sort of underground relic.

SFX: MOLE MINERS CHANTING CONTNUES

BRIAN:                  MaryAnne you’ve studied their language haven’t you? Can you make out what they’re saying?

MARYANNE:      Only what I’ve picked up from Mama Murmagrrr when we would trade...but they just keep repeating the same thing over and over again:

“Defender above. Savior below,

Life and purpose, you bestow

Rock of light, once was found,

Gave thee birth... to protect ground.

BRIAN:                  Rock of light? Are they talking about the Ultracite?

MARYANNE:      Its possible. Hold on, there’s more.

SFX: MOLE MINERS CONTINUE CHANTING

Surface will burn, man will end,

Miners live on.... praise Ti....tan.

BRIAN:                  Ti....tan? Titan?

MARYANNE:      I think so. It’s a loose translation, closest word to our language at least. Like I said, I only learned what I could from Mama Murmagrr.

BRIAN:                  Well, if what you say is true, then we’re in a lot of trouble. We need to find Becky and...

SFX: TRIPS AND FALLS

BECKY:                  Ah damn it! Stupid tunnels, where in the hell is the exit around here?! What I would give for a scrap kit back to camp right about now.

MARYANNE:      Becky!

BECKY:                  MaryAnne?! Brian?!

SFX: LEAPS FORWARD AND ALL EMBRACE EACHOTHER

BECKY:                  I’m so glad to see you two!

MARYANNE:      Us too kiddo, us too. We came as soon as we got the news from Timmy.

BECKY:                  Timmy? Looks like that idiot is good for something after all.

BRIAN:                  Well Miss Becky Watts he actually cares about you very much. He had a hard time holding back tears when you got separated.

BECKY:                  Really?

BRIAN:                  (In agreement) Mmmhmmm

BECKY:                  Well maybe he’s not an idiot, but he is annoying.

MARYANNE:      Most boys are. (giggles)

BECKY:                  (giggles)

BRIAN:                  Heyyy....As much as I hate to break up the reunion, we need to get out of here post haste.

BECKY:                  I’ve tried, but every time I try, I get so far and the ground shakes....and I know it sounds crazy but the tunnels move.

MARYANNE:      Move?

BECKY:                  Yeah, it keeps happening. The ground will shake and when I turn around...the way I came from is blocked. It doesn’t make sense...I just want out of this stupid place already and I’m sick of seeing these green rocks! Ugh!

SFX: KICKS ULTRACITE/LOW ROAR OF TITAN WAKING UP/GROUND TREMORS A LITTLE

MARYANNE:      Becky what did you do?

BECKY:                  I don’t know! I just kicked the stupid rock!

BRIAN:                  Mary Ann remember what I said they were chanting to earlier, Well its...

MARYANNE:      Holy Sugar Bombs...its an eye!

BECKY:                  (Lets out blood curdling scream)

SFX: TITAN ROARS/GROUND SHAKES/MOLE MINERS YELL AND SHOOT GUNS

BRIAN:                  Go go go! Get out of here!

SFX: FOOTSTEPS RUNNNING

BRIAN:                  Fascinating, I thought what I saw earlier was some type of rock, but it must have just been the creature's eyelid.  Almost like its skin has taken on the properties of its environment...for protection? Possible camouflage...or both?

MARYANNE:      If that’s the case, this is quite the discovery!

BECKY:                  I hate to break up you two nerding out right now, but can we focus on getting the fuck out of here!

BRIAN:                  Becky Watts, I understand you are a bit overwhelmed with our current predicament right now but that does not mean that...

BECKY:                  Yeah, I know I know. Language.

MARYANNE:      Brian look, the markings.

BRIAN:                  Yep we’re on the right track, just a little bit further.

SFX: MONSTER ROARS/GROUNG SHIFTS

BECKY:                  It’s a dead end, are you sure you know where you’re going?

MARYANNE:      I swear it was this way…look there’s the mark we made. Unless...

SFX: FIRES A SHOT/MONSTER ROARS/GROUND SHAKES

BECKY:                  What the…

MARYANNE:      Just as I thought, it’s not a wall, it’s the creature…blocking our path.

BECKY:                  It’s trying to trap us?!

BRIAN:                  Seems so, no wonder you weren’t able to find your way out of here. It keeps moving and blocking the exit.

BECKY:                  How does it keep finding us, I can barely see in hear as it is. Does it have night vision or something?

MARYANNE:      That’s it!

BECKY:                  I got it right?!

MARYANNE:      Well, no sweetie, not the night vision part but about not being able to see, the monsters not tracking us by sight but by...

BRIAN:                  Vibration!

MARYANNE:      Exactly! Everyone get behind that wall!

SFX: MOLE MINERS GRUNTING/SHOTS FIRED/BULLETS WHIZZ BY

BECKY:                  Oh no they caught up to us!

BRIAN:                  Whatever you’re going to do my dear Mary Ann please do it quick, they’re close to cornering us.

SFX: PULLS GRENADE PIN/TOSSES IT/BOUNCES OFF GROUND/ MOLE MINER GRUNTS/EXPLOSION

BECKY:                  You got them!

SFX: TITAN GROWLS LOW/MOVES THROUGH ROCKS

BECKY:                  It worked, it’s moving towards the explosion and look the path is open!

MARYANNE:      No time to celebrate gang!

SFX: MINE STARTS SHAKING/ROCKS FALL

MARYANNE:      That explosion compromised the mine, we need to best feet before it caves in.

SFX: ROCKS/FALLING MINE BEGINS COLLAPSE/FOOTSTEPS RACING

SFX: TRIPS/FALLS ON GROUND

BECKY:                  Ow my ankle!

BRIAN:                  (Yells) Grab my hand! MaryAnne keep going!

MARYANNE:      But…

BRIAN:                  Go!!

SFX: FOOTSTEPS RUNNING/SLIDES/GRABS BECKY/OUT OF BREATH

MARYANNE:      (Out of breath) Hurry Brian!

BECKY:                  We’re not going to make it!

BRIAN:                  Oh yes, we are, hang on!

SFX: TUNNEL COLLAPSES

BECKY:                  (Coughing) We made it! Brian we…Brian? Brian! Oh, MaryAnne he’s gone! He risked his life for me...and now he’s gone. (Starts crying).

MARYANNE:      Becky are you crying?

BECKY:                  Well yeah! I actually liked him ok! He’s pretty good! And now I’ll never get a chance to tell him!

BRIAN:                  Aww Becky.

BECKY:                  B….Brian?!

BRIAN:                  I’m touched. Do you really?

BECKY:                  I uh, I…no! I don’t know what you think you heard but that’s not what I said. What I said was…

SFX: SIREN BLARES/AUTOMATED MESSAGE PLAYS FOR NUKE TOUCHDOWN

BECKY:                  Whew! Saved by the nuke.

SFX: PIP BOY HUMS/TURNS DIAL/BEEPING NOISE

MARYANNE:      Well, looks like we’re not the only ones that know about the Titans lair. Whoever “JadeFyre” with a “y” is, sent a nuke to our exact location.

BRIAN:                  Another invigorating calorie burning run through collapsing tunnels! It’s almost like Christmas! Let’s go gang!

SFX: RUNNING.

BECKY:                  We’re not going to make it!

MARYANNE:      Look there! Mining car tracks! And where there’s tracks….

BRIAN:                  A mining cart! It’s that just ducky!

MARYANNE:      In! Quick! We’ve got no time to lose! Hold tight…need to get this thing moving!

SFX: SQUEELING WHEELS.

BRIAN:                  That’s done it! Come on!

MARYANNE:      In we go! Annnnddddd hold tight!

SFX: MINE CART ACCELERATES.

BECKY:                  Ummm…isn’t this going a little fast?

MARYANNE:      No choice I’m afraid! Clock is counting down!

BRIAN:                  Fear not Becky Watts! I have just the thing to banish your fears! Are you thinking what I’m thinking MaryAnne Belts?

MARYANNE:      That coal workers’ pneumoconiosis (CWP), commonly known as black lung, was caused by the inhalation of respirable coal mine dust like that which we are breathing in right and that is a disabling and potentially fatal lung disease with no cure? Historically, CWP had taken a tremendous human and financial toll on the United State coal mining industry before the Great War, particularly in Appalachia where where CWP in Appalachian miners was four times higher than the national average.

BRIAN:                  Yes that but ALSO that this is the perfect time for a fear alleviating and spirited sing along!

MARYANNE:      Right you are! Let me brace myself as we hurtle to our likely doom and pull out the old Nukalele. Sing along! You know the words!

MEDIA: JESS PLAYS 16 TONS ON UKE.

EVERYONE (Brian, MaryAnne, Becky)

Some people say a man is made outta mud

A poor man's made outta muscle and blood

Muscle and blood and skin and bones

A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong

You load 16 tons, what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in debt

St. Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go

I owe my soul to the company store (big finish on this last line, holding the singing part of store)

SFX: MINE CART SQUEELS.

BECKY:                  The track ends! We’re gonna crash! AHHHHHHHHH!

SFX: CRASH THROUGH WALL. MINE CART TOPPLES. EVERYONE FALLS.

BRIAN:                  Pioneer Scout health assessment everyone!

MARYANNE:      I believe I am suffering from migrainous neuralgia, but otherwise well.

BRIAN:                  I appear to have minor epidermal abrasions to my articulatio genu and some possible swelling of olecranon, but otherwise well. What about you Becky Watts?

BECKY:                  (muffled) Kindly get your gluteus maximus OFF OF ME!

BRIAN:                  Whoopsie! I was wondering what I landed on. (giggles)

SFX: REVOLVER FIRES/BULLET RICOCHETS

TIMMY:                Wooo hooo! You’ll never take me alive sheriff! Eat my lead!

MARYANNE:      Sweet Mirelurk Molasses what is going on here! Becky you stay back.

BECKY:                  Aww but I want to watch, (chuckles) this looks like it’s going to be good.

BRIAN:                  MaryAnne’s right. Stay behind that stand there by the fortune teller robot while we get to the bottom of this.

BECKY:                  I never get to have fun...if he falls I get his badges...

MARYANNE:      Becky!

BECKY:                  I’m kidding!..sorta

BRIAN:                  (clears throat) Excuse me SIR!

PETE:                     Oh hey...you’re back already I uh...

BRIAN:                  Yes, we are. Now do you mind telling me what our dear boy Timmy is doing all the way up there on the Big Top tent?

TIMMY:                (In the distance) Wow! I can see our camp from here!...I’m king of the world!!

MARYANNE:      Timmy! You get down from there right now mister! And...and where are your pants?!

PETE:                     Well you see. He wanted to try out our “most wanted” event.  He was supposed to just steal tickets from the cardboard cutouts but ended up robbing more than half the players as well. I had him sit out the rest of the event at that table right there. But when I came to check on him, he was gone. Nicked Gunther’s Big Iron too.....not sure what got into him..I did what you asked though! He didn’t eat his boogers.

BRIAN:                  Say what now?

PETE:                     Before you left,  the lady hollered back “dont let him eat boogers” or at least that’s what the kid said, I couldn’t quite make it out.

BRIAN:                  Uh huh. Sugar. Don’t let him eat sugar, because this is what happens when he does.

PETE:                     Oh...that makes more sense. Hard to believe a little sugar caused all this.

BRIAN:                  What exactly did you give him?

PETE:                     Just a nuka cola quantum.

BRIAN:                  JUST a nuka cola quantum?! Crime a nitly! Why didn’t you just shoot him up with chems while you’re at it?!

PETE:                     Hey take it easy there, I don’t have kids of my own, how was I supposed to know?

BRIAN:                  (sighs) It’s not your fault, I apologize. Wait here please...Timmy can you come down here buddy?

TIMMY:                NEVER!!!

SFX: ANOTHER BULLET FIRES/BALLOON POPS

CHLOE:                 (Gasps) My balloons! Such naughty children!

BRIAN:                  Cheese and crackers Timmy! You’re going to hurt someone! Get down here young man or so help me...

SFX: EBS SIREN. EXPLOSION IN DISTANCE. SHOCK WAVE FROM NUKE BLAST

PETE:                     What in the?! Oh not again! CURSE YOU VAULT DWELLING NUKE HAPPY TRASH!

BRIAN:                  It’s nowhere near us. At this point it happens so often we usually just go about our day.

Pete:                     Normal? NORMAL!? What’s wrong with you people? You have any idea how many nukes you folks have set off around here?

BRIAN:                  Well...you see...

SFX: GROUND QUAKES/EARTH OPENS UP/TITANS ROAR EHOES

PETE:                     And that? What the hell is that!? It’s like a mountain rising out of the earth!

MARYANNE:      Well maybe your sister will believe you now...

BRIAN:                  Ohhhhh that’s lovely! Now we can get a breathtaking view of it! Unless my genius for genus has failed me, this appears to be a majestic white bellied Heterocephalus Glaber, known to the lay person as the common mole rat. This one appears to have suffered some kind of unique mutation perhaps from long-term exposure to ultracite? Or perhaps some other unknown cause.

SFX: ANGRY ROAR.

TIMMY:                Hoooo weee look at that varmint, I’m fixin’ to wrangle me a big’un!

SFX: JUMPS DOWN/LANDS

BRIAN:                  MaryAnne!

MARYANNE:      On it!

SFX: DASHES FORWARD/TACKLES TIMMY TO GROUND

MARYANNE:      Sorry sweetie but you’re going to need to sit this one out...

TIMMY:                Lemme go you, Jezabelle!

MARYANNE:      Timothy! I’m going to let that one go because you’re all hopped up on sugar. Take a deep breath now!

SFX: TIMMY MUFFLED/INHALER NOISE

MARYANNE:      There we go...sleep well little guy.

SFX: WALKING OVER IN GRAVEL

BECKY:                  What did you do to him? What is that stuff?

MARYANNE:      Oh just a little addictol.

BECKY:                  Is it supposed to knock you out?

MARYANNE:      Oh, heavens no, it just took away his sugar high. He’s just crashing till his body recovers.

SFX: TITAN ROARING IN BACKGROUND

MARYANNE:       Now you stay here and watch after him while Brian and I handle things with the Titan.

BRIAN:                  Do we have to kill it? It would make a fascinating study.

MARYANNE:      YES.

BECKY:                  Uhmmmm have you seen that thing? The two of you cant do this alone!

SFX: FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

BRIAN:                  Oh don’t you fret my little ghoul scout...we won’t be. Look.

 

BECKY:                  What the...where did all those people come from? Who are they?

BRIAN:                  The other vault dwellers from Vault 76.

BECKY:                  You called them?

MARYANNE:      No, the Nuke did.

BECKY:                  Huh?

BRIAN:                  Anytime there’s trouble, whether it be a horde of creatures, or some ungodly monster that appears, the “76ers”, as some people call them, are bound to show up.

MARYANNE:      They are some of the most peculiar people in Appalachia.

BECKY:                  But wait, aren’t you both from that Vault?

MARYANNE:      Honey there were over 500 people in that vault by the time the stork started knocking on doors after it sealed up. We couldn’t tell you all of them. All the years living in the Vault and Brian and I never once crossed paths. Vault 76 was so modularized and segmented by level we never once had an all hands in Atrium meet-up. But when Reclamation Day happened, everyone split up and formed their own groups. Like we did with the Pioneer Scouts. But, despite what group or faction they belong to, they’re all 76ers.

BRIAN:                  Right, you are Mary Ann. They’re a diverse group of people that live very different lives, in fact, paradoxically, they speak all kinds of languages.

MARYANNE:      It’s true…I got off the elevator once on one of the lower levels I could’ve sworn someone was speaking Japanese.

BRIAN:                  ...and yet they put aside their differences and come together for a single cause.....To help.

BECKY:                  Sooo kind of like our Pioneer Scout Troop does?

BRIAN:                  Hmmm...I never thought of it like that, but I suppose in a way...yes. An astute observation Becky Watts!

MARYANNE:      You’re wise beyond your years kiddo.

BECKY:                  (Embarrassed) Knock it off you two! Are you going to kick this mole things butt or what?

BRIAN:                  You bet your badge sash we will. Be back in a few!

MARYANNE:      You stay inside the Nuka Cade young lady and don’t come out until we’re back. Oh, and see if you can find Timmy’s pants.

BECKY:                  Mary Ann, I got this. Go.

MARYANNE:      Right

SFX: FOOTSTEPS RUN OFF INTO DISTANCE/TITAN GROWLS/

SFX: FOOTSTEPS COME TO A HALT

MARYANNE:      Look at the size of it, I’ve never seen something like this.

76ER#1:                (Passing by) That’s what she said!

BRIAN:                  Looks like the other 76ers are well into the fight, we better pull out the big guns for this.

SFX: RADIATION CRACKLING

MARYANNE:      Brian are you?...

BRIAN:                  Yep I’m going bloodied build for this one...

MARYANNE:      But your health. You really think it’s going to be that bad?

BRIAN:                  Afraid so...look there. Mole miners and molerats spilling out of the opening in the ground. No telling how many are down there. We can’t take any chances.

MARYANNE:      Alright then, I guess its time for the new build.

SFX: POWER ARMOR OPENS UP/COMES ONLINE/LOADS MINI GAUSS

BRIAN:                  You finally finished your build?

MARYANNE:      Took me while to get the right rolls for the gauss minigun but yeah...it’s finished. You ready?

BRIAN:                  Lets go.

SFX: GAT PLASMA FIRING/RAILWAY RIGLE/FIXER FIRE/GAUSS MINIGUN/MOLE RATS SHRIEK AND BLOW UP

76ER#2:                Watch out for those mole rats! They’re explosive!

SFX: MORE GUNSHOTS/GROUND SHAKES/ROCKS FALL/TITAN ROARS

BRIAN:                  Where's it going?

76ER#1:                It’ll be back. It keeps doing this, it’s like a giant game of whack a mole!

7ERr#2:                 Whatever its doing we need to figure out a different plan, we’re barely doing any damage to it!

SFX: MOLE MINERS GRUNTING/GROUND SHAKES/ROCKS FALL/TITAN ROARS

76ER#1:                Here it comes again.

SFX: FIRING CONTINUES/EXPLOSIONS

76ER#2:                We’re barely making a dent, even with my Ultracite ammo, it’s just not doing the damage. At this rate I’m going to run out before we down this thing.

MARYANNE:      Wait! What did you say?

76ER#2:                I’m going to run out of ammo?

MARYANNE:      Before that.

76ER#2:                My Ultracite ammo isn’t doing damage like it should?

MARYANNE:      That’s it! It’s not going to. This thing is resistant to it. Everywhere the Titan shows up, giant shards of Ultracite pop up with it. It’s practically made from it and protected by...You two!

76ER#1:                Huh?

76ER#2:                Is she talking to us?

MARYANNE:      Yes. Take your chainsaw and your Auto axe and cut down those pillars of Ultracite. It’s the Titan’s power source, it’s what’s protecting it!

SFX:AUTO AXE WHIRRS/CHAINSAW BUZZES/CUTTING NOISE/TITAN ROARS

MARYANNE:      There its vulnerable! Hit it with everything you got!

BRIAN:                  MARYANNE you never cease to amaze me! Brains, Beauty, Cankles! I just...

76ER#1:                Hey lover boy! How bout you save that for after the battle!

76ER#2:                Honestly, read the room!...

BRIAN:                  (Clears throat)...right!

SFX: FIRING CONTINUES/MOLE MINERS GRUNT/MOLE RATS SHRIEK AND EXPLODE/TITAN ROARS/SLAMS GROUND

76ER#1:                That made him mad!

76ER#2:                Woah! Earthquake! Hold on to something!

MARYANNE:      Great job everyone! Two more times like that and this Titans toast.

SFX: UNZIPS BACKPACK/RUMMAGING THROUGH THINGS

BRIAN:                  Lets make ONE more time!

SFX: SLAMS DOWN POLE/BUGLE SOUNDS

76ER#1:                What is that?

76ER#2:                What is he doing?

MEDIA: DRAMATIC MUSIC

BRIAN:                  PIONEER! (pause) PIONEER! (pause) PIONEERRRRR SCOUTSSSS! HOOOOOOOOOOO!

MARYANNE:      Behold! The Pioneer Scout Banner of Arms! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

76ER#1:                A whaaaaaaa?

BRIAN AND MARYANNE:

Survival! Teamwork! Research! Discovery! Innovation! Open near your friends, so everyone can enjoy!

76ER #2:               What is happening right now…are they doing a dance number?

76ER #1:               Is that banner sprayed with something? It’s putting some funky fumes…

76ER #2:               I feel…funny…hey what is that thing?

MARYANNE:      Something we cooked up with some spare Pioneer Scout Banners, Mirelurk King Anal Glands, Dirty Water and Enclave Research Mutagenic Serums! BREATH IT IN! THE POWER OF THE PIONEER SCOUTS!

76ER#2:                Dude she’s right. Check out my PipBoy stats! Our AP is back up to 100%!

76ER#1:                Woah, nice one Scoutmaster! (pause) What the hell is AP?

SFX: GROUNG RUMBLES/ROCKS FALL/TITAN ROARS

76ER#2:                Ding ding! Final round! Let’s do this!

BRIAN:                  FOR THE VAULT!

MARYANNE:      FOR THE PIONEER SCOUTS!

76ER#2:                For the vault!

76ER#1:                For the vault!

SFX: FIRING CONTINUES/EXPLOSIONS/MOLE RATS SHRIEK

MARYANNE:      Oh boys!

76ER#1:                We’re on it!

76ER#2:                Yes Ma’am!

SFX: AUTO AXE SPINS/CHAINSAW BUZZES/TITAN MOANS

MARYANNE:      NOW!

BRIAN:                  HYAAAAH!

SFX: AMMO FIRE GROWS DEAFENING/RAPID EXPLOSIONS/ TITAN MOANS AND COLLAPSES TO THE GROUND/GROUND SHAKES

76ER#2:                We did it!

MARYANNE:      Look! The rest are retreating!

76ER#1:                Yeah you better run! No one messes with the 76ers! Now let’s tear this bitch open and see what’s inside!

SFX: AUTO AXE GRINDS FLESH. GROSS GORE. BLOOD SPLATTERS.

BRIAN:                  It is a bit strange that so many of these creatures like to eat trash and weaponry.

MARYANNE:      I stopped asking those questions a long time ago my dear.

76ER #1:               Awe saaaweeet!

76ER#2:                What? What is it?

76ER#1:                I got the Grand Finale! Two shot broadsider with fireworks?! What! What! Wha’d you get?

SFX: ACCESSES PIPBOY/TURNS NOB/BEEPS

76ER#2:                A Molerat bat? Aw man...

76ER#1:                Whats that?

76ER#2:                It just better for killing Molerats I guess...

76ER#1:                (laughs) Lame!

76ER#2:                What a bunch of Junk!

SFX: THROWS BAT THROUGH AIR/THWACK!

PETE:                     (in the distance) Ow! Damnit! Who threw that?!

76ER#2:                Oh shit! (calls out) Sorry!

MARYANNE:      We appreciate your help boys, my thanks to your friends as well.

76ER#2:                Sure thing scout lady, and hey good call on taking out the Ultracite, never would have figured that out. Until next time!

SFX: JETPACK BLASTS AWAY/FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

BRIAN:                  Becky you alright?

BECKY:                  Yeah, I even found Timmys pants, that jerk of a robot had em...I convinced him to give them back.

BRUNO:               Brrrrrruno Is strong but that gggggirl is craaazy.

BRIAN:                  Becky what did you do?

BECKY:                  Nothing...we just had a little chat.

SFX: DROPS A PILE OF SOUVENIRS ON FLOOR

BRUNO:               Here take these. Ssssouvenirs for everyone..on the hhhhhouse. Have a nice dddayy!

BRIAN:                  You know what, I’m not even going to ask....Timmy?

 

TIMMY:                (Moans) Awww what happened?

MARYANNE:      It’s a long story sweetie, I’ll tell you about it later.

SFX: FIREWORKS EXPLODING

BECKY:                  Wow! I didn’t know there were going to be fireworks!

TIMMY:                Ugh my head.

BRIAN:                  Come here sport, I’ll carry you home. It’s been quite an eventful day for everyone.

MARYANNE:       It has but it all turned ok in the end.

SFX: FIREWORKS GOING OFF

76ER#1:                Woo hoo hoo! This thing is awesome! Pew pew! Pew pew!

76ER#2:                Aw man you’re so lucky! You always get the good loot. Hey, you think if we launch another nuke that thing will come back? Maybe I could get the plan then!

76ER#1:                I don’t see why not! Lets do it!

76ER#2:                Aw yeah! Silo Run!

SFX: BROADSIDER FIRES/FIREWORK EXPLOSIONS

76ER#1:                76 FOREVER!

BECKY:                  Is it always going to be like this? You know, where something bizarre or catastrophic happens and we’re in near death experience but at the last moment we pull through and things settle down but only for a short time before it happens again?

BRIAN:                  Mmmm probably.

MARYANNE:      But the important is we have each other.

BRIAN:                  (thoughtful) Yes. We do don’t we?

BECKY:                  Hey! Can we play one more round in the NukaCade before we go?

MARYANNE:      Sure. But NO MORE sugar Timmy.

TIMMY:                Yes Ma’am.

BECKY:                  Let’s go 4 eyes!

TIMMY:                I’m comin’ I’m comin’ scab face!

MARYANNE:      You okay?

BRIAN:                  Yes. (pause) No. (pause) I….oh….oh there it goes. (heavy breathing as if an attack)

MARYANNE:      Brian! What’s wrong…

BRIAN:                  Heart racing…perspiring in all the wrong places. Pelvis polka. Rabbits…rabbits…oh molerat nipples…come on Brian, pull it together.

MARYANNE:      What’s wrong?! What is it? Are you sick?

BRIAN:                  Nope…not sick….say it, don’t spray it. Just spit it out you fool!

MARYANNE:      Did…did that Titan swipe you or something? Are you injured?

BRIAN:                  Oh no…not anything like that.

MARYANNE:      Breathe! Hey….it’s okay…what is it?

BRIAN:                  I…ohhhh biscuits…come on…okay….you make my life…no, that’s awful. You are my reason for….oh God no…Mesopotamian love ritual? In front of the kids? No…not that. Victorian poem? Yeah go with that.

MARYANNE:      Brian what are you…?

BRIAN:                  Cupid is blind! The reason why is this. Love loveth most when love most secret is. He jumped into a bramble bush and scratched out both his eyes.

MARYANNE:      (awkward pause) Uh….huh. Sweetie let’s get you back home and just pour you a nice ice bath….

BRIAN:                  No! Listen…I have to…I’ve been thinking about…LEGS…no. John Donne!

MARYANNE:      John Donne? English poet and scholar born 1571, died 1631…yes, what about him? You’re scaring me.

BRIAN:                  Mark but this flea, and mark in this, How little that which thou deniest me is; It sucked me first, and now sucks thee

MARYANNE:      Okay that’s it MISTER!

BRIAN:                  No! Please…listen to me. I...I know books. I know facts and figures, you can drop me out in the Cranberry Bog in my manties with a spoon and a canned coffee and I’d be back home the next day with 10,000 caps in my pocket wearing a gold sequined tuxedo. I speak 18 languages, but I can’t…I just can’t find the right words to tell you how much you mean to me. There’s no context, there’s no merit badge, I have NO frame of reference, table of contents or index to give me the answer. So, what’s a scout to do? I’m off the trail without a map here, lost in thoughts, with a broken compass and RAGING hormones flooding my body, clouding my mind.

MARYANNE:      Brian…sweetie..

BRIAN:                  Please let me finish. Can’t stop. Have to get it out. But there is ONE just ONE star that guides me forward, takes me home always. That’s you. You are my celestial navigation, and I am lost, so incredibly lost without you. I know I’m awkward, and ridiculous. I know people roll their eyes at me and laugh at me, but not you. NOT you. From the very beginning you didn’t just see me, you saw right through me. And through everything that we’ve been through you stayed. You stayed for overzealous angry masturbating Scout Leader me….

MARYANNE:      What?

BRIAN:                  …resurrected after being eaten me, Scoutmaster fighting demons me and even Briognak the Barbarian me. And as certain as steady as your guidance and continuity of being right here with me through all of that, I know…I know that I love you more than anything else in this strange, often confusing, rollercoaster post-apocalyptic world. And I’ve been agonizing, struggling and I just can’t keep it in anymore because not having the courage or words is killing me. So it’s out, I said it, I’m saying it. I love you, and if you’ll have me, I want to marry you MaryAnne Belts and make you the happiest Pioneer Scoutmaster since Lady Agatha Rowell who opened the first Pioneer Scout camp in New Guinea before tragically being eaten by cannibals.

SFX: SILENCE. WIND RUSTLES. FIREWORKS STILL GOING OFF.

BRIAN:                  MaryAnne please…say something.

MARYANNE:      I…don’t know what to say.

BRIAN:                  Oh…I…okay…

MARYANNE:      No! Wait a minute you goose. I mean I, meaning me, don’t know what to say. I never thought anyone would even WANT to marry me. I’ve always had a plan of my life, things I wanted to do, badges I wanted to have, a mission to actually rebuild as we were told to do, and a life I wanted to build out here. I think I just…never thought of marriage even being part of that picture.

BRIAN:                  If it’s too soon I’ll wait…

MARYANNE:      No! I didn’t say that! If I’ve ever learned anything out here it’s that for all the planning and preparation a Scout can do, tomorrow is as uncertain as butter on a hot day. I love you Brian. With all my heart and soul, but if we’re doing this, we’re taking this leap of faith together. From here on out, no matter what we face, we do it together, equally. I can still out arm wrestle you.

BRIAN:                  Briognak on the other hand…

MARYANNE:      (laughs) Yes.

BRIAN:                  Yes?

MARYANNE:      (laughing, crying) YES!

BRIAN:                  YES! YES!!!! And now, to seal our bond of engagement I present to you this ring, made out of the knuckle of the majestic white corpuscular Grafton monster. I shall now commence a traditional mating ritual dance of my own design based on the mating ritual of meleagris gallopavo, the West Virginia wild turkey, one of heaviest members of the diverse Galliformes.

MARYANNE:      Oh enough with that nonsense. Come here you hunk of nerd.

SFX: KISSING

BECKY:                  Gross!

TIMMY:                Slip her the tongue! (laughs) Ohhhh my head.

SFX: THROWS UP/SPLASH NOISE

BRIAN:                  Ohhh Oh Timmy! You feeling better buddy?

TIMMY:                (sighs) yeah.

BECKY:                  EWWWW! Its everywhere, and its glowing!... Is that a shoe?! Did you throw up A SHOE?

MARYANNE:      (giggles to self) Let’s head back home to Camp Spruce Knob! On the way we have something to share.

MEDIA: OUTRO MUSIC