CAST & VOICE TALENT

• Wes Johnson ~ Sheogorath
• Karen Carbone ~ Eveli Sharp-Arrow
• Jan Johns ~ Tenniel
• Alexander Luthor ~ Chad
• Dr. Mark Hauswirth ~ Brian
• Clint Winberry ~ Player
• Kenneth Vigue ~ Narrator

WRITTEN BY: Alexander Luthor

EXT. DENSE WOODLAND - NIGHT
The sound of sprinting footsteps echo out through a leafy forest, the gasp of heavy breathing and exhaustion with every stride... Chad arrives at a cabin and begins pounding on the door.

CHAD (out of breath): Let me in, let me in damn it! HEY! (Locks and bolts start to turn and clunk and the door slowly opens with a creak.)

BRIAN: Well hi there Mr hurry pants.

CHAD: Oh crap its you.. this is not my day.

BRIAN: (playfully) Oh oooh the door seems to be closing have a nice da....

CHAD: Wait, OK OK I need your ugh... I need your help.

BRIAN: Well why didn't you say so come in silly billy but take off your shoes.

CHAD: Wait what? No jeez Brian.

BRIAN: Alrighty roo I will let you off this time but you can clean up the mess.

CHAD: Alright fine, damn it Brian just listen. I had a run in with some raiders at the disposal site and think I may have picked up some rads and I dont have any radaway, I need your radiation shower.

BRIAN: Oh my little furry pearls this won't do at all, you have put me in serious danger. Rule number one in the "Oh Ooh I seem to be glowing, Radioactivity and you" handbook clearly states...

CHAD: BRIAN, damn it focus.

BRIAN: Oh yes of course but my rad shower is not working and I cannot work out what the Dickens is going on with it

CHAD: Dont talk to me about Dickens.

BRIAN: What?

CHAD: What? nothing. Do you have tools, I can see if I can fix this for you. Should be simple enough.

BRIAN: Of course I have tools, like my father used to say...

CHAD: Get out?

BRIAN: Noooo... he used to say "you never know when you will need a big tool in your hands".

CHAD: Oh my god...just get the tool kit.

(BRIAN walks off and comes back with a tool bag, CHAD rumages inside, clinking and clanking through the tools.)

CHAD: There that should do it. Try turning it on.

(A flickering light begins to pulse and grow, suddenly a bright flash brings into a view a spining swirling flame like aura.)

CHAD: What the actual Fffu...

BRIAN: (interrupting) Fudge.

CHAD: What is this thing?

BRIAN: Well as a Pioneer scout it is my duty to investigate this strange and swirly thing that I am certain will not put me in mortal danger.

(Brian strides forward into the light and disappears.)

CHAD: He went in.... ah jees... Brian wait...

(CHAD jumps up to his feet and follows his Ff..Brian through the portal)

FADE OUT

EXT. MYSTIC LAND - NIGHT

Transition into Elder Scrolls style music

The sound of wind and unearthly creaking hangs on the air, Chad stands alone. Eyes wide open mind swirling in thought

CHAD: Where the hell am I? Oh crap... where's Brian? BRIAN!

(CHAD hears a snarl and stumbles back as a large creature flashes past him stopping for nothing or noone)

CHAD: Woah jeez, what the hell was that, looked like a viking riding a giant wolf. What is this place? sludgy ground and that sky its so stormy and dark. This is so trippy, OK keep calm and keep moving, oh wait looks like a girl over there, oh wow she's hot, oh man I am in luck. time to turn on the Chad charm. Hey, hey can you help? hey I'm talking to you. Could you stop looking at that scroll for just a second and....helloooo what the..

(The woman puts away the scroll and eventually turns to look at Chad)

PLAYER CHARACTER (in a deep voice): Oh hey mate, what can I help you with?

CHAD: Damn thats a deep voice, but you look so...are you not a...

PLAYER CHARACTER: A girl? Nah. A lot of people think that, lost count of how many flirtatious and inappropriate comments I've gotten. It's a choice I know but it's my choice.

CHAD: OK, so what should I call you?

PLAYER CHARACTER: Well my fellow adventurers call me ahem (Heroically) Lady Moonshimmer Hero of Wrothgar. But you can call me Dave

CHAD: Well Lady Moon.... Dave, can you tell me where the heck I am?

PLAYER CHARACTER: But of course fellow adventurer you are in Coldharbour, realm of Molag Bal

CHAD: Moldy Balls?

PLAYER CHARACTER: MO-LAG BAL, he's a bit of a pain around here but it is what it is ya know.

CHAD: Whatever dude listen, have you seen a guy come through here about yay high, kind of annoying in a stupid hat.

PLAYER CHARACTER: You will have to be more specific, thats literally everyone around here. But now I think of it was he wearing shorts by any chance?

CHAD: Yes, yes he was... Have ya seen him?

PLAYER CHARACTER: Actually...Yeah, He passed by and went that way just a few minutes ago.

CHAD: Great, hey thanks I appreciate the help

PLAYER CHARACTER: Wait before you go, you can't be running around like that, I've got some gear you can use, I dont really need it now I have my (Heroically) Aegis of Galanwe armour.

CHAD: Your what now?

PLAYER CHARACTER: I got it from Cloudrest, ya know with the Griffens?

CHAD: Sure pal, did the "Elves" help you to?

PLAYER CHARACTER: Actually no not this time, Look nevermind, just take this stuff armour, and you can have this sword to, you see I have already got my Maelstro.....

CHAD: Alright alright just hand it over I gotta hussle. Nice to find someone helpful for a change, where I'm from I'd be picking up my junk from a paper bag by now.

PLAYER CHARACTER: Ooooo Kay well good luck on your journey.... farewell and may Akatosh's bless..oh he's gone.

FADE OUT

EXT. SFX FOOTSTEPS AND UNEARTHLY MOANING OF WIND AND CREEKING - NIGHT

(Brian wanders through mist in the twilight, alone and bewildered but excited by the strange sights and sounds around him)

BRIAN: (Humming)

BRIAN: What a strange and interesting place, I do like an adventure and it sure does give me plenty to write about in my journal. Wow what an intersting looking plant, so pretty all that luminescent glow, (chuckles) it kind of looks like a perso..... aaagh help what in the heck fire,
The Tree like creature envlopes Brian, twitsing and writhing, Tightening around its victim

BRIAN: (hard to breath) Help me oh darn it... please HELP!

CHAD: BRIAN.... I'm coming hold on

(The creature continues its relentless crushing of bones)

BRIAN: Auuugh no I can't aagh (strangled and dying) I can't hold on Cha... agggh

(Chad leaps through the undergrowth slashing and cleaving at the woody creature)

CHAD: Get off him you twiggy piece of O'crap I'm gone kill you.. aaahhhh

(With Another mighty swing, Chad hews the attacker in two and it collapses to the floor along with the motionless body of his Ff... Brian)

CHAD: Brian, BRIAN, you can't be... you'll come back any second now. Brian? OMG He.. he's dead, he's really dead....

SHEOGORATH: Not so laddy, not so

CHAD: What, who the hell are you? What do you mean he's not dead?

SHEOGORATH: All ya need is tha right tool for the job ma boy, here take this little thing.

(This unusually (even for this place) dressed stranger hands a shiney object over to Chad.)

CHAD: What... what is this? a crystal, listen pal I don't know what your sellin but my frei.... this guys dead.

SHEOGORATH: Use the crystal ya idjit...

CHAD: Uhh ok, erm... maybe I just put this....

(Chad begins rubbing the crystal on Brian like he's polishing a shoe. Finally in desperation, he trys a new method....)

SHEOGORATH: For the love of madness man its not a supository.

CHAD: Well you didnt exactly hand me an instruction manual ya know.

SHEOGORATH: Just place it in his hand...and wait

(In a fantastical glow of silvery light Brians body slowly rises from the ground like a looking like a spirit pulled from the brink of death)

CHAD: Wait whats happening? Brian? Hey Brian is... is that you?

BRIAN: Well hey there Chad, that sure was a strange tingle, I don't feel like myself....

CHAD: I can see right through you dude

BRIAN: Why can't I touch anything?

SHEOGORATH: Wait for it....

(With a sudden flash Brian is restored to his ahem, "normal" looking self)

BRIAN: What in heavens just happened?

SHEOGORATH: There he is back to the land of the living, everybodies happy now lets go get some cheese.

CHAD: Im sorry what? did you say....

SHEOGORATH: Cheese, yes, cheeeese no one should come back to life without a hearty meal in their belly, so it's agreed, cheese it is then.

CHAD: Wait I didn't....

BRIAN: Oh yummy I do love cheese, did you know that the most popular cheese recipe in the old United States was macaroni and cheese and there used to be over 2000 varieties aaaand cheese itself has been around for over 4000 years.

SHEOGORATH: You sure know your cheese ya odd little fellow.

CHAD: (muttering) Should of left him dead.

FADE OUT.

EXT. SOUNDS OF A PORTAL CLOSING AND THE THREE CHARACTERS

EMERGING - NIGHT

(The newly aquainted travellers step out from the conjoured portal into a clearing)

CHAD: Jees pal, what is it with this place and portals...think I wanna hurl.

SHEOGORATH: Ya get used to it trust me and ya don't want to be wandering around here when you don't know the way, lot of dangers here lad.

CHAD: Sounds familiar, where we're from it aint no picnic, speaking of which what the hell is all this crap?

SHEOGORATH: It's dinner is what it is, although less of picnic and more... tea party I suppose.

CHAD: Something reeeaally weird about this.

BRIAN: It's just like near Tyler county fairground, but less balloons and more, errr...gothic

SHEOGORATH: (sinister becoming humourous) Plots and schemes aboth have been hatched here boy, the twisted meandering thoughts of a mind interwoven with madness where chaos thrives and nightmares are real. Also it's quite nice in the spring.

CHAD (Sarcastically): Well I'm convinced your not crazy, C'mon Brian, we best be getting along, we have to get the hell out of here and back home, Susie is gonna go nuts and Moose will likely burn the place down if I'm not around. Sooo, thank you for your time Mister Wackadoodle, we will be on our way.

BRIAN: Can we not stay just for some food, I'm starving and thirsty and we have no idea where we are.

SHEOGORATH: Ya best listen to your friend laddy, you'd be dead in a day out there but I may know someone that could help, infact, she should be here very soon. When shes not running late that is.

CHAD: Wait, it's not that chic with the deep voice is it?

SHEOGORATH: What? What?

What?... nothing, what do you mean, who's coming, start making sense old man.

SHEOGORATH: Firsty, old is an understatement and my name BOY, is Sheogorath the Daedric Prince of Madness.

CHAD: Well OK she...shay, Shegiraffe. I'm the Chad and I'm bout to start swinging this sword upside your head if you dont start making more sense.

BRIAN: Ho Ho, he will you know, he can be quite violent.

SHEOGORATH (scheming): Hmmm can he now, I think we can help eachother perhaps... Oh here she is.

TENNIEL: I'm Late, oh I'm late, I'm Late, oh dear... oh dear. Oh wait.. no, is this even.. I'm not... this isn't the Market...

SHEOGORATH: Over here lassy, you're in the right place. I asked you to come remember? We had that conversation and you said you'd come and haaaave?

TENNIEL: CHEESE! aaah yes oh of course, I knew that I'm not crazy ya know. I'm all ready for cheese and hopfully something to drink I am very thirsty.

SHEOGORATH: Well you're here and thats all that matters so don't dwell on it. I need your help lassy, well actually, they do.

TENNIEL: Oh, well hello there strangers, what a handsome fellow you are and what a.... oddly dressed fellow YOU are.

BRIAN: I'll have you know this is regulation scoutmaster attire.

CHAD: Shut up Brian. Hello to you to lady.

TENNIEL: Good day to you, I am Tenniel. So where have these strangers travelled from Sheogorath?

SHEOGORATH: Got spat out of a portal from another realm not of Tamriel. Who knows where from, I just want to help them get back there is all.

TENNIEL: (Suspiciously) Sheogorath? what are you up to?

SHEOGORATH: Nothing, I just may need them to do a little job for me, nothing too erm.. fatal. Once its done, we can get them on there way I promise........ALRIGHT FINE, I am after something that was taken from me. I just want it back is all and this lump might just be dumb enough and strong enough to help me get it.

TENNIEL: Hmm I see, But what makes you think I can help?

SHEOGORATH: Listen lass, I know you can get them where they need to be... Zemarek's Hollow.

TENNIEL: How do you know, I've never told you I know the way.

SHEOGORATH: Well if thats so how do I know you know? You do know the way don't you?

TENNIEL: Well, yes but... I shall show them the way because, I know it, I know the way.

CHAD: I don't mean to be "That guy" but would you mind running this by me before you go sending anyone anywhere? and what the hell is Zemarek's Hollow?

SHEOGORATH: Ah dont get ya breeches in a twist, it's a sinch you'll be in and out before ya can say Spindleclutch

CHAD: Spindlecrutch?

TENNIEL: (Sarcastically) Oh yes this is going to go very well I am sure.

SHEOGORATH: It'll be fine. All you have to do is get rid of that pesky Zemarek Thul and take me stuff back.

CHAD: Alright fine, whatever as long as it gets me outta this crazy place and back to ...well another crazy place but at least it's my crazy place.

BRIAN: Oh boy more adventures for my journal and tales for my grand children

CHAD: I swear Brian if you don't stop talking im gonna hit you so hard in the sack you won't be havin' grand children. C'mon Lady lets get this over with.

FADE OUT.

EXT. - NIGHT

(Chad, Tenniel and Brian step carefully through a craggy valley. All seem on edge as they make there way through the unforgiving landscape)

TENNIEL: Come on, keep up it's this way.

CHAD: You sure Lady? cos we been walking for hours. I'm startin to think you ain't got a clue where we are.

TENNIELL: No, No it's, it's this way I'm sure of it..although.. it does look the same as. Oh no oh no, I know I know this I know it. Oh dear, oh dear.

CHAD: Hey hey, lady calm down, it's OK don't get all crazy on me.

TENNIEL: I AM NOT.. (quieter)I am not crazy. It just looks differnt because I have not been here in while.. yes, that must be why.

CHAD: Hey it's OK you just need to try and remember or we're all gonna be going round in circles, now clear your mind and think. When did you last come here, why did you come here?

TENNIEL: I don't.... it was so long ago I just don't...wait, I was younger of course, I wanted to see the..the (remembering)clockwork man... THE CLOCKWORK MAN, thats it, I wanted to see the clockwork man, my friends and I we came this way, it's just a little further to the hollow, YES oh thank you for helping me The Chad

CHAD: Ya see, you still got this, it's gonna be fine, and it's just Chad

TENNIEL: Well Just Chad.. I think I will remember you JUST fine.

BRIAN: I am also here.

TENNIEL: (with a small laugh) Yes you are Brad and or Bruce. Now come along its just up ahead.

FADE TO:
EXT. - NIGHT

(Emerging from the valley the weary bunch find themselves at the foot of a vast cliff face, mouths wide open at what stood infront of them)

CHAD: Oh Balls, that is one massive mechanical dude. This aint gonna be easy, what good is a sword against that shiney hunk of garbage. Man I could use a fatboy right now

TENNIEL: A What?....never mind. Listen I don't think I am going to be much use, I don't have any weapons..and I don't know magic

CHAD: Magic, what the hell? Theres magic here? like card tricks and stuff are real?

TENNIEL: Well I don't know what a "card trick" is but yes, we could sure use a sorcerer about now.

CHAD: OK this place is officially getting cooler. Ugh what the hell, I'm just gonna have to use this sword, he's gotta have a weakness and I aint gonna find it standing here. I've taken down enough dimwits in Power Armour so this ain't much different

TENNIEL: Wait Chad you can't.....ok he's just run straight in.

(fearlessly Chad sprints toward the hulking metal monster)

CHAD: Raaagah take that you colossal bolt bag...raaaaargh.

(Chad smacks, hacks and whacks at his foe again and again but nothing is penetrating the thick armour of his assailant)

TENNIEL: He's not going to win this, he's going to get himself.......

(Suddenly an arrow whooshes through the air past Chad and hits it's mark between the armour of the mechanic, followed by another and another, Steam and smoke bellows from the creature as it whines and whirs before crashing to the ground)

CHAD: (coughing and out of breath): What the Hell?

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: HA HAAAA take that you stupid Mechanical menace.

TENNIEL: Evelie?

(A beautiful young Elvish warrior valuts off a nearby rock landing perfectly on both feet and slings her bow across her back before dusting off her hands in triumph.)

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: Of course it's me, you didn't think I'd let you go off alone did you?

TENNIEL: But I, you...you can't of seen me leave.

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: Ha, it's like you don't know me sometimes. Listen, I promised I'd look after you because it was YOU that asked me.

TENNIEL: Wait, I did? I mean...I did didn't. I. of course. I said I didn't need help and you saaaid....

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: I saaaaid..it's ok to accept help from those who care... exactly. I know you are OK but there's nothing wrong with helping you out when you need it. Besides I love a good scrap.

CHAD: Hey, thanks for the assist erm....

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: Evilie Sharp arrow, and you are welcome stranger

CHAD: Chad

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: Well Chad, why are you fighting mechanics in Coldharbour and WHAT is your freind wearing? Short Breeches, now I have seen everything.

CHAD: Trust me when he sits down you CAN see everything.

BRIAN: I will have you know....

CHAD: DON'T.

BRIAN: Ruuude.

CHAD: Anyway, Thank you Evelie Sharp Arrow, you have quite an aim.

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: You bet I do, have to look after yourself round here.

CHAD: No kidding.

(Just as they begin to chuckle to eachother a portal flashes open before them (again) and out steps Sheogorath.)

SHEOGORATH: Yeeees! yes excellent you did it. You slayed the beast haha rejoice in me.

CHAD: What the actual hell dude, Are you telling me you could have opened a portal at any time? We walked hours to get to this place you ass.

SHEOGORATH: Oh don't be such a grumpy lump of voidstone, where would the fun have been in just "openeing a portal". I am the Prince of Madness after all also, this way grows character.

CHAD: Character, I'll give you character you piece of....

SHEOGORATH: Now then did ya get me stuff lets see.... (Sheogorath runs over to the scraps and remains and begins to rummage through all the rubble, nuts and bolts.)

SHEOGORATH: Ah haaaa here it is ooooh my love I thought I had lost you, I'll never let you out of my sight again...

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: Wait, is that...is that a piece of cheese?

SHEOGORATH: Yeees, not just any cheese, this is a wheel of the finest crafted Mammoth cheese in all of Tamriel. It's rare and hard to find, unless you're a giant its almost impossible to get hold of ya know.

CHAD: I cannot believe this man, I almost died to get you you're stinking cheese wheel?

SHEOGORATH: No ma boy, you almost died so that you could win my trust and respect so that I can send you home. Ya see it was me that opened the portal, it was me that brought you here.

BRIAN: Wait I'm confused. Am I missing something?

CHAD: Yeah Brian, this crazy fool dragged us here to get his cheese, thats why Tenniel was already on her way, he planned the whole thing.

SHEOGORATH: HAHA you're smarter than you look boy. But I merely open the portal. It was you that stepped through it.

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: Sheogorath you really are a piece of work. You almost got them killed

SHEOGORATH: Almost being the key word there lass. Anywho here ya go fellas, off home with ya.

(With a flick of his staff, Sheogorath opens yet another portal)

BRIAN: Well this has been quite the adventure, I don't think anyone will believe us.

CHAD: I think we need to keep this to ourselves or we will both end up in a nut house. It sure was nice to meet you Tenniel I hope everything goes well for you and try not to get too lost OK.

TENNIEL: Lost, when was I lost? well anyway goodbye and maybe we will meet again some day.

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: Good bye and maybe think twice about stepping through strange portals that open up and just... walk the other way.

CHAD: Sure thing lady, bye ya'll

BRIAN: Is this cannon?

CHAD: How should I know, but I can fire you out of one if that helps...

Chad and Brian set off through portal and it closes behind them as Evelie turns to Tenniel.

EVELIE SHARP ARROW: OK lets get you home Miss, you can tell me all about Chad and your adventure.

TENNIEL: Thank you... I am quite tired, a rest would be nice and maybe some food, also...who's Chad?

FADE TO BLACK.

MUSIC