CAST & VOICE TALENT

• GUEST: Chip Joslin ~ BlackSkull, Lazarus
• Alexander Luthor ~ Sound Tech
• Kenneth Vigue ~ Director
• Dr. Mark Hauswirth ~ Brian, Grahm
• Jessica Dickey ~ MaryAnne
• Clint Winberry ~ Moose, Mutant #3
• Christian Mower ~ Punch, Mutant #2
• Simon Bugg ~ Radio Announcer
• Brad Williams ~ Jim, Mutant #1
• Sophia Hauswirth ~ Becky Watts
• Logan Hauswirth ~ Timmy

WRITTEN BY: George Wolf

 

SFX: INTRO CUTS OUT

SFX: RADIO STATIC

MEDIA: CHIMES

MEDIA: OLD TIMEY RADIO SERIAL INTRO FANFARE

RADIO ANN:       From Galaxy News Radio studios in Washington, D.C. the Nukelight Vitamin Company presents: The Continuing Misadventures of Brian and MaryAnne, Episode 3: Briognak the Scouting Barbarian!

MEDIA: CRESCENDO FANFARE. OLD TIMEY DRUMS AND HORNS.

RADIO ANN:       Briognak! Defender of the good, vanquisher to the evil. Briognak! Muscles bulging and gleaming with oil, clad only in a loincloth made from a living possum. Briognak! Say his name, echoing from ancient times of violence and the cruelty of man towards man…in a world shattered by the ATOM and hurled back through time to a stone age. It is a time of blood, of fury…and in the dank swamps of Ancient Appalachia all fear one name: BRIOGNAK THE BARBARIAN!

MEDIA: CRESCENDO.

RADIO ANN:       In our last episode, Briognak found himself in the Valley of the Titans, confronted by the terrifying bulk of Punch the Girthy and Moose the Monstrous. Besting them in a battle of strength  h and guile, our prewarmordial hero joined them on their quest to defeat the vile BlackSkull, servant of Grelok and secure the precious secret scrolls to prepare food of the gods in their tavern The Rusty Prick. Meanwhile the evil plucky ubervirgin bard MaryAnne continued her journey to reunite with her transformed beau, Briognak the Barbarian! Before we continue this epic tale, first a word from our sponsor.

JIM:                       Hello radio friends, in these trying times when life and limb can be deprived of any moment, nothing is more important than vim and vigor. (pause) How was that?

DIRECTOR:          It was fine, Jim.

JIM:                       Good, because last time you people dragged me out of here on a perfectly good take.

DIRECTOR:          I think it’s best just to move on and…

JIM:                       Caught my wife banging a Robobrain.

DIRECTOR:          (pause) What?

JIM:                       Walked right in on them. Son of a bitch was wearing a Marilyn Monroe wig. Can you believe that?

DIRECTOR:          Next line please.

JIM:                       (under breath) God forbid anyone listens to my problems for a minute. Look Bill about the writing…this really doesn’t flow. It’s wordy…doesn’t really roll off the tongue. Who wrote this?

DIRECTOR:          Jim. Jim. Just read the next line please.

JIM:                       On a remote farm in the Toxic Valley, where the marvels of science have impregnated the earth with rich nutrients and minerals, lives a Raider named Deez Nuts.

JIM                         (annoyed) Deez Nuts. Is that really his name?

DIRECTOR:          Her name.

JIM:                       And I mean we’re selling vitamins here that people are going to shove in their pie hole, so I think it would just be nicer to not lean so heavy into the toxic this and nuclear that.

DIRECTOR:          It’s not going to matter. Most of us are addicted to chems anyway.

JIM:                       You really want to say Toxic Valley, yum yum yum with toxic white powder all over everything like snow?

DIRECTOR:          That’s the fun of it.

JIM:                       What about…in the northern reaches of Appalachia on a remote farm, is rich soul cultivated by generations…see how much better that is? We aren’t reminding people of how toxic that place is, you see? Without this detour about Miss Nuts and her fucking cancer powder all over the crops.

DIRECTOR:          Yeah, no.

JIM:                       We’re talking about where this Nukelight Vitamin stuff is made and you’re starting off talking about toxic waste, and some cheekily named whack job you see? Dees Nuts I mean it’s garbage copy.

DIRECTOR:          (mumbles) Jesus Christ, I told you we should’ve canned him.

JIM:                       (coughs) What?

DIRECTOR:          It’s what the region is called.

JIM:                       (angry) I don’t understand we’re reminding people that stuff they’re eating is covered in toxic dust before we even tell them what the product is.

DIRECTOR:          Yup. Sorry.

JIM:                       You should be.

SOUND TECH:    Maybe you can just say “In the Toxic Valley…”

JIM:                       Why? That doesn’t make any sense? “In” the Toxic Valley. Sorry, there is no known way to start a sentence with “In” and emphasize it.

SOUND TECH:    I think you just say it.

JIM:                       Just say it? Just say it?

SOUND TECH:    People will get it.

JIM:                       You produce that person. Any person who will hear that sentence and buy this crap. You prance on out there with your little feet…find that person, bring them before me, and I will literally blow you.

DIRECTOR:          (awkward pause) …w…what?

SOUND TECH:    I think you misused “literally” …

JIM:                       Like my wife with that Robobrain, she said we’re “In” love. It’s just idiotic if you don’t mind me saying so. It’s stupid. “In” love…” In Toxic Valley” it’s the same thing. It’s meaningless…it’s a brain in a washing machine. She left me for a brain in a washing machine.

DIRECTOR:          (sighs) Jim, you know what if we just do one more take of this. It’s my fault. Maybe instead of In the Toxic Valley we could say somewhere up north.

JIM:                       You didn’t say it, he said it. Your friend in there with the stupid glasses and the NCR Riot Armor. You running audio in there or are you doing a vault raid?

DIRECTOR:          (stammering) Jim, please…just say somewhere up north…

JIM:                       But that’s just bad copy.

SOUND TECH:    We’re still rolling.

JIM:                       There’s too much directing around here.

SOUND TECH:    One more take please Jim.

JIM:                       What?

SOUND TECH:    Could I have just one more take please from the top?

JIM:                       Why? I just did it right.

SOUND TECH:    Yeah…you didn’t though.

JIM:                       (angry) Look I’m used to having more than one person in there, one more word out of you and I will come in there and eat you. You hear me? I just ate a fucking Perk Card. I will literally eat you and your stupid glasses. Is that clear?

SOUND TECH:    Yes sir.

JIM:                       Who the hell are you anyway?

SOUND TECH:    Joe. The engineer.

JIM:                       Well, why the hell do you need another take from the top all over again?

SOUND TECH:    There was a slight crunk.

JIM:                       Unbelievable. (Papers shuffle, pause) What the hell is a crunk?

SOUND TECH:    Like a slight noise, but like an excited noise. Like a beat drop. From outside.

JIM:                       Jesus. A crunk noise from outside. (inhales) There amongst rows of heritage grains and the freshest fruits and vine-ripened vegetables, Nukelight Vitamins are born. (angry) and the freshest fruits and vine ripened I mean listen to that…you have two and’s in the same sentence. What are you wearing?

SOUND TECH:    A cat head.

JIM:                       A cat head.

SOUND TECH:    I needed to change my outfit.

DIRECTOR:          It’s from Camden Park, when he gets nervous, he gets scared and dresses up like a cat.

JIM:                       Like a cat.

DIRECTOR:          It’s his catsona.

SOUND TECH:    (muffled) You’re being purrrrrfectly mean.

JIM:                       Well, you look ridiculous. (Clears throat) Nervous? He gets nervous. What is this? (continues) Nukelight Vitamins offer 3000% of your daily requirement of essential nutrients and minerals to put a pep in your step. (pauses) Pep in your step.

SOUND TECH:    I wrote that.

JIM:                       It’s terrible. It reads like intern word vomit, cliched and unnecessary alliteration.

SOUND TECH:    No wonder she left you.

DIRECTOR:          Oh shit.

SFX: PAPERS THROWN. CHAIR THROWN THROUGH STUDIO WINDOW. SCRAMBLING. FIGHTING. SCREAMING. CAT NOISES.

SOUND TECH:    He’s eating me! The son of a bitch is eating me!

RADIO ANNC:    And now…our story continues….

SCENE 1: EXT. FOREST. DAY.

SFX: CRICKETS CHIRPING. STREAM FLOWS QUIETLY.

BRIOGNAK:        You wanted to speak with me mutant? Speak quickly for I must oil myself before a full-length mirror.

GRAHM:              Grahm, you can call me Grahm. What Grahm call you?

BRIOGNAK:        Who am I? Hahaha! Surely you jest! No? My tales are legend from the peaks of Seneca Rocks to the depths of the Glass Caverns. I am Grognak! Vanquisher of the Virgin eaters, sworn enemy to the vial wizard Grelok. Truly, you have never heard of me? My exploits in the Temple of the Blood Harp? My spirited battle with Maula, War Maiden of Mars? Or when I bested the giant Slor! Many Bat Babies and Fatherless Curs knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you.

GRAHM:              Hmmmm...I hear stories of you, long time ago from friend Maul. You in comic book, me no think real person. Me think you broken meat bag.

BRIOGNAK:        Hah! I am pretty unbelievable, but I am very real my friend. And you? You are that young mutant’s father, yes?

GRAHM:              Me? No kids. Cannot make baby.

BRIOGNAK:        Cannot make? Surely you possess the…

GRHAM:              Punch like younger brother.  A long time ago. Haven't seen him since left. Since humans came out Vault.

BRIOGNAK:        You left your own kind? Truly your skin should be yellow, not green friend!

GRAHM:              Hmmm some might say, but they no understand. Grahm left to start new life. Better life. Home became bad place. Mutants starving, some survive. But by killing and stealing from other mutants. Not a good life to live. Then Grahm out one day and see humans from vault, building, grow food, me see better life.  Try to tell others to come but no one listen. They scared of humans, believe in old ways of war. Punch want to come but didn’t know if I take care of him. Things hard, he would be safer with tribe. BlackSkull like brother, promise to take care of Punch.

BRIOGNAK:        Pray! Continue…

GRAHM:              (sighs) I travel all over Appalachia, collecting, selling. Some humans friendly, some not. But people from vault seven six were best of all. Grahm even throw party to celebrate business being good. Seven sixers bring meats, Grahm cooks meats and give prizes. They happy and Grahm happy too. That was point when Grahm see that old way of life was not good. That we could live better, get along with each other. So, I go back one day, most of tribe gone. Many died, others leave and never come back. BlackSkull said if they did, he kill them.

BRIOGNAK:         And yet, he did not kill you?

GRAHM:              No, BlackSkull gone when I come, out on hunting party. BlackSkull change. Only want to fight, to kill every “stupid human” out there. Become cold, like rock, hate people cuz they not like us. Cuz of what they do to us. I try to take Punch with me then but he already leave. Now he with friends who care for him. My heart glad.

BRIOGNAK:        You should’ve slit the throat of this BlackSkull when you had the chance! That would be the true warrior’s way, ending his tyranny.

GRAHM:              Mmm me thought of this before but can’t kill him. Promise to take care of him since we come out of tubes at Wes Tek. He save me that day, we escape into swamp. I promise to protect him. Mutants that want to leave left, only ones left are ones who want to fight like BlackSkull, no more reason to fight.

BRIOGNAK:        Ha! Good one my green fellow! Surely you are pulling my sleeping possum loincloth!

GRAHM:              What?

BRIOGNAK:        “No reason to fight” there is always a reason to fight!

GRAHM:              Oh? What you fight for?

BRIOGNAK:        Why for glory! And honor! A man who fights for nothing will fall for anything! You must find purpose, find the fight within you. It is the way of the warrior. To feel the blood roaring in your ears, your palms shredding, calloused as you heft and swing the mighty blade felling your foes around you. THAT is true living.

GRAHM:              I use think same way. I was born like many super mutant for battle. To fight for reason, at time.

BRIOGNAK:        At the time?

GRAHM:              Mmm (in agreement) yes, a long time ago but now I not so sure.

BRIOGNAK:        Well, what do you fight for then?

GRAHM:              Why must there be a fight?

BRIOGNAK:        Ha! Well because…because…there has always been the fight. From the dawn of mankind, when we crawled from mud and shadow. We fought and conquered predator after predator, evil after evil! People don’t agree, they, they fight! It never changes, it is the way of the world. The Alpha at the top, maintaining order, banishing darkness and chaos!

GRAHM:              Hmmm perhaps. But things changing. Me use to travel Appalachia. Selling guns, armor, bullets of all kinds. Now Grahm sell mostly food, scrap to build camps, plans and resumpees. War not change. Human do. Seven Sixers come; things change. No more quiet here, more people come. People changing barbarian, fighting stop soon. Human fighting human less. What you do then hmmm? When no more to fight?

BRIOGNAK:        I uh…I…

GRAHM:              Whatever people fight for it come to end. If you fight to fight you have no purpose.

BRIOGNAK:        But I fight with purpose. I told you for glory and honor.

GRAHM:              So, you fight only idea.

BRIOGNAK:        Well, what else would you fight for?

GRAHM:              People. People you care about.

BRIOGNAK:        Hmmm you speak of family don’t you mutant?

GRAHM:              Yes, family. You have barbarian?

BRIOGNAK:        Hmmm I believe so. They are faded memories but… sometimes in my dreams…is a tiny but mighty woman clad in the finest wool with a sash of her great battles against the very elements! In my dreams she tells me to fight it. What I do not know. Grelok? No something different but I know not what.

GRAHM:              Sounds like your fight is not so much out here but inside you.

BRIOGNAK:        Ha! Fight myself? On the inside? How am I supposed to do that? Unless…of course! The Gem of Shuriken! I must give life to my shadow form, so I can climb right up inside my…

GRAHM:              Something tell me she be one to help you.

BRIOGNAK:        Who? The Wool Skirted Maiden fair? How is she going to?.

GRAHM:              That I know not. But time tell all.

BRIOGNAK:        You wise Mutant. A shaman perhaps, can you reveal my future?

GRAHM:              Hahaha no. Grahm just friendly Appalachia salesman. But been around long time. Grahm sees thing and watch people. MaryAnne is mazing woman. You lucky have her. You see.

BRIOGNAK:        Bah! Riddles and shadowed mystery, I tire of this talk. We should be preparing for battle!

GRAHM:              Battle you shall have soon enough. For now, we rest. I take first watch then you Barbarian. We leave in morning.

BRIOGNAK:        Now you are talking!

MEDIA: TRANSITION MUSIC/END SCENE1

SCENE 2: EXT. FOREST. – DAY

SFX: CLOCK TICKING/CLOCK CHIMES/CUCKOO BIRD SQUAWKS

MOOSE:               Wha?...What the hell is that?!

GRAHM:              It’s a coo clock. New item, want to buy?

MOOSE:               Uhh no thanks bro, think I picked one of those up at the Atom Shop after Chad and I decided to light off all the fireworks we had at once.

PUNCH:                (Yawns) It morning already? It time to go then. This way…

GRAHM:              Hold on Punch, need to talk bout plan. When we get to base, I go first, keep BlackSkull busy. You two sneak in, find resumpees. Then get out.

PUNCH:                What about you? Punch will not leave you with nasty bad BlackSkull

GRAHM:              Grahm will be fine, trust me, I get out.

MOOSE:               Are we ready to head out? Oh my God…what is that smell?

BRIOGNAK:        I have just had a full and satisfying bowel movement, the hallmark of a true warrior. I have claimed these lands as my own now. Tred not into that shrubbery. Come my brothers! Let our warrior spirits rise like the sun! Battle awaits!

GRAHM:              First we eat, can’t go on empty stomach.

MOOSE:               Sounds good to me bro! I’ll never turn down food.

SFX: LIGHTS FIRE/ EGGS CRACK/PAN SIZZLES

PUNCH:                Yay! Can you make Possum Bacon?! Just like when Punch was young Mutant!

GRAHM:              (hearty laugh) Hahaha you remember!

PUNCH:                Punch can’t forget, Grahm make best Possum Bacon in all Appalachia, Moose you will love it!

MOOSE:               Sounds delicious!

PUNCH:                Oooh I will get wood for fire!

GRAHM:              Sounds good. Moose you help me with cutting meat.

MOOSE:               Yes sir!

BRIOGNAK:        And I shall sharpen my axe! Haha!

MOOSE:               Whatever man, you do you.

SFX: RUNNNING IN LEAVES FADE. FIRE CRACKLES/PAN SIZZLES

GRAHM:              (Hums First Part Chorus Country Roads)

MOOSE:               (Hums Second Part Chorus Country Roads)

SFX: WAR HORN SOUNDS/GUN SHOTS IN DISTANCE

GRAHM:              Oh no! Punch!

BRIOGNAK:         Arghhhh! What cowardice! Come my brothers! They went this way, we must make haste to…

SFX: DROPS PAN/ RUNS THROUGH LEAVES, HEAVY BREATHING

GRAHM:              (out of breath) Punch! Hold on! We’re coming!

MOOSE:               (out of breath) What’s goin on?!

GRAHM:              (out of breath) Punch in trouble! (Out of breath) WarHorn...

SFX: RUNNNING STOPS IN LEAVES

GRAHM:              (Out of breath) We’re too late.  They took him.

MOOSE:               Who took him? Is Punch going to be ok? Grahm?.... Grahm!

GRAHM:              I don’t know.

MOOSE:               What do you mean you don’t...

GRAHM:              I don’t know! BlackSkull took him. He’s lost his mind. We must hurry! To the base camp!

MOOSE:               Hold up amigo! Look!

SFX: Pulls paper from tree, paper tears.

MOOSE:               They left a note. Can’t make it out. It’s a picture…of the old monorail? Yeah, that’s it, looks like a train car hanging in the air! But what does it mean?

GRAHM:              It challenge.

MOOSE:               A challenge? For what?

GRAHM:              Long time ago, super mutants fight each other, before humans. You challenge other Mutant for land, weapons, anything.

MOOSE:               So, what does this BlackSkull guy want?

GRAHM:              Me. Grahm defeat BlackSkull in challenge, he want to get back honor.

MOOSE:               So where is this place anyway?

GRAHM:              Abandoned Bog Town. Come, we must hurry.

BRIOGNAK:        Let us make haste my brothers! My axe may yet taste the flesh of Grelok on this day!

SFX: RUNNING THROUGHT LEAVES INTO THE DISTANCE

MEDIA: TRANSITION MUSIC/END SCENE 2

SCENE 3: BUILDING. INT. - DAY

SFX: CRICKETS CHIRPING/SCORCHBEAST SCREECHES/SOUND WAVE SLAMS AGAINST BUILDING/BRICKS START TO FALL

MOOSE:               Woah!

GRAHM:              Shhh! You get us caught.

MOOSE:               Sorry bro!

GRAHM:              SHUSH!

MOOSE:               (whispers) Sorry bro, it’s just that Scorchbeast was a little too close. You think it knows we’re in here?

GRAHM:              No matter, move to next building, lose it soon.

MOOSE:               What is this place anyway?

GRAHM:              Bog Town, Super Mutants take over, long time ago.

MOOSE:               Where exactly are we going?

GRAHM:              There!

MOOSE:               The Monorail Car? Is that where Punch is?

GRAHM:              No, Punch probably in jail. Locked and guarded.

MOOSE:               So, let’s go there and bust him out! We can take them!

BRIOGNAK:        The tiny barbarian is right! There are not many. Come! Let us cleave their heads.

GRAHM:              No, BlackSkull plant trap. He not dumb. I must fight him. This must end.

SFX: WALKING IN GRAVEL/SCUFFLE FEET

GRAHM:              Quick! Inside building!

MOOSE:               Why don’t we just fight them. There are only two guys patrolling the street.

BRIOGNAK:        Tiny Barbarian is right, and I grow tired of hiding. Grognak does not hide from the likes of Grelok’s underlings. Have at the! ARGHHHHH!

GRAHM:              Grognak no! wait!

SFX: RUNS OFF/HEAR GUNSHOTS/LASER FIRE IN DISTANCE

MOOSE:               Shouldn’t we help him out?

GRAHM:              No there more. BlackSkull never fight fair, hide more Mutants if things go bad. Stupid human man good. Cause distraction. He okay.

MOOSE:               This BlackSkull sounds like a real creep. You sure you want to fight him.

GRAHM:              Only way to save Punch. You, stay here. I must go alone. If I die...

MOOSE:               Bro don’t say...

GRAHM:              If I die. You run. Save Punch. Take care of him.

MOOSE:               But Grahm!...

GRAHM:              Shhhh. Promise Grahm.

MOOSE:               Alright. I promise.

GRAHM.              Hmmm you good human. Grahm see why Punch say you best friend. Now stay in shadows.

MOOSE:               Got it bro. Just be careful.

GRAHM:              Hmmm (in agreement/nods)

SFX: WALKS DOWN METAL STAIRS

SFX: AXE SWINGS/ GUNSHOTS/SUPER MUTANTS GROAN IN PAIN

BRIOGNAK:        Ha! Is this your best? My blade won’t even dull from this fight!

SFX: FOOTSTEPS APPROACH/CRUNCHING GRASS/SMALL BIT OF OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS/CROWD OF SUPER MUTANTS APPROACH/INDISCRIMINANT CHATTER

BLACKSKULL:     Impressive…for a meat bag.

BRIOGNAK:        Ah! A larger mutant? Better! Larger I see...with war paint and headdress…you must be… (says to self) what did you call you…(says outward now) Ah yes! You must be Blackhead!

BLACKSKULL:     (snarls in anger) BLACKSKULL! Where Grahm the Coward! The Traitor?!

BRIOGNAK:        Not your concern, I shall be more challenge than you can handle.

BLACKSKULL:     You strong for human, but how strong I wonder? (Calls out) Betty! Destroy Human!

SFX: THUNDEROUS STOMPING/LOW ROAR

BRIOGNAK:        By Shegorath himself! What monstrosity is this?!

GRAHM:              (hushed tone) Mmm this is bad.

MOOSE:               (hushed tone) What in the hell is that?!

GRAHM:              (hushed tone) A behemoth, worst kind, super mutant experiment. We get old, we get big…more beast than human.

MOOSE:               (giggles) Wait did he just call it Betty? (snickers) I’m sorry dude but (trying to hold in laughter)

GRAHM:              Focus! Name not important. Friend in trouble. Told you BlackSkull not fight fair.

MOOSE:               So, what do we do?

GRAHM:              Grahm not know…we…we…

SFX: FOOTSTEPS APPROACH QUIETLY/GUNS COCK SUDDENLY

MOOSE:               Who’s there?! Come out where we can see you!

SFX: FOOTSTEPS/APPROACH THEN STOP

MARYANNE:      (serious tone) What you’re going to do is stick to the plan.

MOOSE:               MaryAnne? How did? When did you?

MARYANNE:      (sweetly) I’ve been following you all for quite some time now Mr. Moose Miller.

MOOSE:               Why?

MARYANNE:      Well because of Brian of course!

MOOSE:               Brian? Where?

MARYANNE:      My steel wool chested beloved went through a bit of a change…he’s packed on some protein.

MOOSE:               The barbarian dude outside? How the hell..

MARYANNE:      That’s my Brian. (Giggles) It’s a long story, but yes that’s him. I’d recognize those eyes anywhere. (sighs)……

GRAHM:              (clears throat)

MARYANNE:      Oh! Sorry, got distracted there a bit. I was envisioning him in Regency Period clothing and found myself quite overcome. Grahm! How are you good sir?

GRAHM:              Could be better. You?

MARYANNE:      Same here I’m afraid.

GRAHM:              But like you say MaryAnne, there always silver lining.

MARYANNE:      Right, you are Grahm!

SFX: IN DISTANCE/MONSTER ROARS/SLAMS GROUND/BRIOGNAK HOLLERS/AXE SWINGS

MOOSE:               I hate to break up this reunion, but your boy Brian is getting his ass handed to him. I’m impressed that he’s made it this along, that Betty thing looks insane!

GRAHM:              (reluctantly) We need to help him…

MARYANNE:      No…you need to stick to your plan. I will deal with the behemoth. BlackSkull is yours. Ok? Now…excuse me boys…I’m going to fetch my fella.

SFX: WALKS OUTSIDE

MOOSE:               How is she gonna handle…

GRAHM:              (chuckles) Now you both see other side of MaryAnne.

BRIOGNAK:        (pants heavily) Is…that…all you got?! I’m still here monster! I shall make a summer camp out of your ribcage and a throw rug of your flayed hide! Your foul musk makes Grognak’s eyes water, but truly I have not yet begun to fight! GRELOK SHALL NOT WIN THIS DAY!

SFX: MONSTER ROARS/FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

MARYANNE:      (Hums a pleasant tune) Well hey there Brian! I’ll take it from here.

BRIOGNAK:        Wool skirt? What are you doing here? The battlefield is no place for…

MARYANNE:      (sternly) I’ll stop you right there. That will be quite enough of that thank you! Here…

 

SFX: THROWS DOWN/STIMS AND MEDS

MARYANNE:      Clean yourself up, you’re bleeding all over your loin cloth.

BLACKSKULL:     Kill puny human woman! Smash them to jelly!

SFX: MONSTER ROARS

MARYANNE:      (roars back) AHHHHHH!

SFX: GAT PLASMA WHIRRS AND FIRES (5 SECS)/MONSTER MOANS AND SLAMS ON GROUND

BLACKSKULL:     You…you!

MARYANNE:      Mr. BlackSkull, I don’t mean to get in the middle of your little battle here. I’m just here for my fella and I’ll be on my merry way. You and Grahm can sort your business out amongst yourselves, okie dokie?

BLACKSKULL:     No... you killed Betty! She my love…you…monster…

GRAHM:              BlackSkull! Let her go! Your fight is with me!

BLACKSKULL:     Well. You are here. I was beginning to think you not come. That you scared and run away, like last time.

GRAHM:              I left for better life. You know that.

BLACKSKULL:     You abandon your tribe! That I know. You are coward! But no more runaway. This time you die.

GRAHM:              Hmph! We will see.

MARYANNE:      Any who…this seems like a personal family thing so I’m just going to go…

BLACKSKULL:     No matter. After I deal with Grahm, I come for you next woman!

MARYANNE:      (sighs) Well I guess it can’t be helped. I’ll see you then I guess. (Looks at Briognak) Shall we be going then?

BRIOGNAK:        You…you bested the beast.

MARYANNE:      Mmm hmmm!

BRIOGNAK:        You are no maiden at all…but a warrior! Just like…(faintly)…in my dreams….

SFX: FAINTS/COLLAPSES TO GROUND

MARYANNE:      Brian! Oh dear! You’ve lost too much blood. I need to get you back to camp now!

SFX: DROPS SCRAPKIT ON GROUND

MARYANNE:      Grahm! Quickly! Help me get him into the scrap kit, he’s lost to much blood.

 

GRAHM:              (Grunts)

SFX: DRAGS BODY/WARPING SOUND

MARYANNE:      Thank you Grahm, will you be?..

GRAHM:              Grahm be fine, now go, take care of him.

MARYANNE:      I will. Be careful Grahm.

GRAHM:              Of course! See you next week for bug block stuff?

MARYANNE:      Oh! You mean my insect repellent?

GRAHM:              Yep! My number one seller right now!

MARYANNE:      Well, that would be swell! Toodles!

SFX: WARPING SOUND/SCRAP KIT CLOSES

SFX: DRUMS START TO THUMP, THUMP, THUMP. SUPER MUTANTS TALKING IN THE BACKGROUND/DRUMS STOP

BLACKSKULL:     Brothers and Sisters! Tonight, is very special night. Tonight, we have a challenge!

SFX: CROWD ROARS IN EXCITEMENT

BLACKSKULL:     The challengers. I BLACKSKULL, your fearless leader.

SFX: CROWD CHEERS LOUDER.

BLACKSKULL:     Yes, yes. Versus....Grahm the traitor.

SFX: CROWD BOOS

BLACKSKULL:     Yes, that same Grahm who left our tribe. For the HUMANS!

SFX: BOOS GET LOUDER

BLACKSKULL:     He has come to face judgement for his crime, in helping humans...and I shall be his executioner!

SFX: CROWD CHEERS LOUD

BLACKSKULL:     Now, you know rules. Two climb to top, two come down, but only one alive. AHHAHAHA (maniacal laugh)

SFX: CROWD LAUGHS ALONG

BLACKSKULL:     Let us BEGIN!

SFX: WARHORN BLOWS/CROWD CHEERS/DRUMS POUND IN BACKGROUND

BLACKSKULL:     Oh ho ho, I have waited for this day. You dishonor me, cause others to leave too!

GRAHM:              They have choice, you cannot make them...

BLACKSKULL:     No! There is no choice. We must fight. Protect our kind from humans.

GRAHM:              But they have changed!

BLACKSKULL:     You lie! Humans trick you, they will always hunt us.

GRAHM:              Like you hunt them? Not all humans, ones from vault good, bring change, food, clothes, better life....

BLACKSKULL:     They have poisoned you.....You speak their words! Now DIE!!!!!

SFX: INTENSE BATTLE MUSIC/WEAPONS CLASHING/ BLOWS BEING LANDED. CROWD. CHANTS/DRUMS POUND(1MINUTE?)

BLACKSKULL:     You cannot win Grahm. You know I was always stronger!

GRAHM:              True. But you uglier too.

BLACKSKULL:     (roars in rage) RRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH! DIIIIEEEEE!!!

SFX: MORE WEAPONS CLASHING/GRUNTS/ ROARS/BODY THUDS ON METAL/METAL CLANG.

GRAHM:              Ugh!

SFX: GRAHAM GASPS FOR AIR/CHOKES ON BLOOD

BLACKSKULL:     Ha! Face it Grahm. You cannot win!

GRAHM:              (mumbles)

BLACKSKULL:     Speak up Grahm! I want hear your last words. I want to watch the light leave your eyes!

SFX: GRAHM SPITS A BUNCH OF BLOOD OUT/SPLATTERS ON GROUND

GRAHM:              It not about Win. Lose. It about family, it about change.

BLACKSKULL:      Stop your lies! RAAAA!

SFX: FOOTSTEPS CHARGING

GRAHM:              (says to self) I’m sorry brother....

SFX: WEAPON SWINGS/THUD

BLACKSKULL:     Ugh!...waa...uhh. AAAA(hollers as he falls of monorail car)

SFX: THUDS ON GROUND/CHANTING SLOWS/ GOES SILENT/ DRUM POUND THEN STOPS.

GRAHM:              (far away/shouting to crowd) Your leader is dead. You are free. There is no need to fight, anymore. We had no choice to be Mutants, we born to fight. Choice now yours, live your life.

SFX: LOUD CHATTER AMONG THE CROWD/WALKS DOWN METAL STAIRS.

MUTANT#1:       Grahm right! Me going to open up gross ree store!

MUTANT#2:       Me going to start radio-ak-iv pet store! Collek all animals in Appalachia!

MUTANT#3:       That stoopid!

MUTANT#2:       You stoopid!

SFX: CROWD GETS LOUD/PUNCHES THROWN WEAPONS CLANK

GRAHM:              (sighs) It will take time.

SFX: WALKS DOWN ROAD/GRAVEL UNDER FEET.

PUNCH:                Grahm! Grahm wait up!

SFX: RUNNING IN GRAVEL/BIG HUG/SQUEEZES

GRAHM:              Ohohoho! Easy Punch!

MOOSE:               Damn dude, he messed you up pretty good!

GRAHM:              This? Nah, had worse, this just flesh wound. How did you get Punch out?

MOOSE:               Well, whenever you beat that BlackSkull dude, the guards went running to find out what happened. I just snuck in and picked the lock. No problemo.

PUNCH:                Grahm need fixed, you lost a lot of blood!

GRAHM:              Don’t worry, Grahm will get fixed up and make you boys dinner. Sound good?

PUNCH:                Yay!

MOOSE:               Sounds good to me bro! Hey, uh any chance we can get some of your famous Possum bacon Punch was talking about?

GRAHM:              Hahhaha, of course! Anytime good time, for bacon! But first I need to check on a friend.

MOOSE:               Another place to go? Man, I'm getting worn out with all this running around we’re doing. Seems like we’ve covered half of Appalachia by now. Chad’s going to be pissed.

GRAHM:              No worries, friend, we’ll be there as you humans say; “In a Jiffy”.

PUNCH:                What does that mean?

GRAHM:              Not sure, think it means really fast. Here open up PIP-BOY Moose and bring up map.

SFX: TURNS NOB/CLICKS BUTTON/LOW HUM/TURNS DIAL

MOOSE:               I gotta be honest with you bro, haven't used this a lot. Too confusing for me.

GRAHM:              Let Grahm see...hmmmm

SFX: MORE DIAL TURNS/BEEPING NOISES

GRAHM:              Ah! There we go and I have enough caps too, good.

MOOSE:               Uh what exactly are we doing again? And how do you know so much about these things anyway?

GRAHM:              We going to fast travel. Oh, and I learn from messing round with vault persons that I killed once. They say some kind of magic house in sky control it. Make it go. But not many know how to use it.

MOOSE:               Uhhh...kaaaayyy....can I have my arm back now please.

GRAHM:              (laughs hardily) No worry, that was long time ago, Grahm different much different mutant now, remember? So, before we go, you boys need to drop your junk we light to travel.

PUNCH:                What? No! Punch never throw meet or brew out!

MOOSE:               Yeah bro, I got a ton of soap bars from a dead dude’s bathtub and I’m running low on oil. Can’t just pitch it.

GRAHM:              Then here.

SFX:  RAPID CONSTRUCTION NOISES/PLOPS DOWN NOISE/FALLOUT 1ST TENT

MOOSE:               What the?!

PUNCH:                What that? And where it come from? You pull that out your...

MOOSE:               I think what Punch is trying to say is....no wait he’s right where did you pull that out of?

GRAHM:              Grahm been around long time, one of first around after fallout in Appalachia. People start special club, make tents to help survive.

MOOSE:               Oh yeah, I’ve seen a ton of these things down at that place people are always nuking. Never seen one like this though.

GRAHM:              Grahm make own, not like others.

MOOSE:               That’s for sure! Bro this looks sweet! You even got a stash box just for scrap?! Man, this is some next level shit!

PUNCH:                Moose look! Cooking station for meats! Me want to try!

GRAHM:              Not now boys. We need to go help....Ugh!

SFX: GRAHM COLLAPSES ON GROUND

PUNCH:                Grahm! Grahm wake up!

MOOSE:               Oh, damn dude! He lost a lot of blood! Hurry and drop your shit in the stash, we got to go!

SFX: POURS OUT BACKPACK/BANGING/CLANGING/CRASHING

PUNCH:                Hurry Moose! Grahm in trouble!

MOOSE:               Alright bro hang on, here goes nothing.

SFX: TURNS DIAL/CLICKING NOISES/BEEPING NOISES/PUSHES BUTTON

LAZARUS:            Lazarus Array online. Vault-Tec security code confirmed. Acquiring remote reflector platform lock. Please stand by for signal intercept. Relay signal lock complete. Please stand by.

WARP NOISES

MOOSE:               Whoooaaa!

PUNCH:                Ahhhhhh!

SFX: (Next part their voices would have an echo. They are in the loading screen. Almost like we did the scenes with the Atomic Shop)

MOOSE:               Punch, you ok?!

PUNCH:                Uhh Punch think so. But me can’t see my hands, or anything!

MOOSE:               Calm down bro, it ok. I can’t either, we must be in that fast travel thingy Grahm was talking about.

PUNCH:                Grahm! Where’s Grahm?!

MOOSE:               Punch I’m sure he’s here too, we just got to get through this but I’m going to need you to CALM THE FUCK DOWN!

PUNCH:                Ok ok. (Breathes in deep/exhales) Punch calm now. You don’t need to swear at me!

MOOSE:               You’re right. Sorry bro.

PUNCH:                Potty mouth.

MOOSE:               Wait...what’s that? You see that?

PUNCH:                Yeah, Punch see it too. Its uh....it’s....what is it.

MOOSE:               It looks like....a picture? Of a Red Rocket gas station....

SFX: ELEVATOR MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY

PUNCH:                Punch hear music. Its nice. Doo do do. Dooo do do.

SFX: WARPING NOISE/WHOOSHING NOISE

LAZARUS:            Please stand by for signal reintegration.

MOOSE:               Wooooooahhh!

PUNCH:                Aaaaaahh!

SFX: BOTH CRASH ON GROUND

MOOSE:               Ugh! That one hurt! Punch you ok dude?

PUNCH:                Punch ok, fluffy meat bag break my fall.

TIMMY:                (squished) Can you please get off me sir.

PUNCH:                Oh yeah, sorry.

BECKY:                  What the hell just happened?

MARYANNE:      Becky! Language! Well, this is unexpected, nice of you boys to “drop in” so soon. (Giggles) To what do I owe this pleasure? Wait a minute…how did you travel without a scrap kit?!

GRAHM:              (groans in pain)

MARYANNE:      Oh dear! What happened?! Nevermind, quickly, you two, carry Grahm into the infirmary. This way!

MOOSE:               Oh...uh...yes Ma’am! Ready Punch? One...two...three...

PUNCH:                Lift!

SFX: FOOTSTEPS QUICKEN ACROSS STONES/GRAVEL

MARYANNE:      Children continue practice your knot tying until I get back.

TIMMY:                Becky look! I finally got tied a knot!

SFX: POSSUM NOISES/STARTS TO HISS

TIMMY:                Ow! Ow! Stop, that hurts!...I guess I wasn’t supposed to tie myself to a possum...OW!

BECKY:                  (sighs) I hate my life.

MEDIA: TRANSITION MUSIC END SCENE 4

SCENE 5: INT. CAMP - DAY

SFX: TICK SQUEALS/SHRIEKS/EEKS

MARYANNE:      I already told you Punch, you need to lie still!

PUNCH:                Punch don’t want to! Punch hate s.ss..spiders! Nooo!

MOOSE:               Bro hold till, its not a spider dude it’s a tick. I think the nukes killed all the spiders anyway.

PUNCH:                It’s a spider with a really big butt!

MARYANNE:      Do you want to save Grahm or not?! It has to be a tick, there’s no getting around it. It’s now or never! Grahm is slipping away fast!

PUNCH:                Ok ok! Do it! I can’t watch!

SFX: TICK SCREECHES AND LATCHES ON/PUNCH BURSTS OFF OF/STUFF CRASHES TO THE FLOOR/PANS FALL/GLASS BREAKS

MARYANNE:      Stop flailing around! You’re going to kill it and this is the only tick I have!

PUNCH:                Nuh huh huh! Nuuh! Its got me! Get it off! Get it...

SFX: BASEBALL BAT WHACK/THUDS ON GROUND

MARYANNE:      Did you just?...

MOOSE:               Knock him out with a baseball bat? Yep. Sure did. Look I know my boy Punch and he aint cooperating with anything that looks like a spider. Just do your thing and I’ll explain it to him when he wakes up.

MARYANNE:      Ok. Here goes.

SFX: TICK LATCHES ON/ SUCKING/GULPING NOISE

MARYANNE:      There that should do it. I just need a minute.

SFX: CHOPPING NOISE/BEAKER BUBBLES/DUCT TAPE PULLED

MOOSE:               What exactly are we doing anyway.

MARYANNE:      Its complicated but I’m basically making a synthesized blood concoction.

MOOSE:               Can’t you just give him Punch’s blood?

MARYANNE:      Usually it would be that simple, but with his current condition it wouldn’t sustain him. That’s why I’m mixing Super Mutant and Glowing Blood, along with a mixture of chems. I injected the tick with these other ingredients first. You see, the tick itself has a biological stabilizing agent within its genetic makeup. It should stabilize the mixture.

SFX: CLINKS ON GLASS/SUCKS UP WITH SYRINGE

MARYANNE:      There! Its ready.

MOOSE:               Is this going to work?

MARYANNE:      Only time will tell.

BRIOGNAK:        Uh...no..Grelok!...I wont!...uggghhh

MOOSE:               Whoa I didn’t even see him! I wondered where he went. How come you got the Barbarian dude in the other bed?

MARYANNE:      That barbarian dude is Brian.

MOOSE:               Brian? The puny annoying scoutmaster that...

MARYANNE:      Watch it!

MOOSE:               Ok, ok, my bad. What happened to him?

MARYANNE:      It’s a long story.

SFX: INJECTS NEEDLE

GRAHM:              (Groans in pain)

MARYANNE:      Shh shhh shh! Easy Grahm, you need to rest.

MOOSE:               What can I do to help?

MARYANNE:      Nothing at this point. I’ve done all I can for these two. Its up to them at this point. They both are in a fight for their lives. Its up to them to pull through. All we can do is wait.

MOOSE:               But...

MARYANNE:      Take Punch, there’s a guest cabin across the way where you can both rest. You look exhausted.

MOOSE:               I’m...I’m sorry for the whole Brian thing.

MARYANNE:      Its ok. Go on. I’ll let you know if anything changes.

MEDIA: TRANSITION MUSIC

SCENE 6: INT. SCOUT CAMP - NIGHT

PUNCH:                Wool skirt girl need to fix Grahm!

MOOSE:               Calm down Punch.

PUNCH:                It been three days!

MOOSE:               I know buddy. Look. I get it. But MaryAnne has done everything she can. Cut her some slack.

PUNCH:                Punch just don’t know what to do! (starts crying softly in hands)

MOOSE:               I know, I’m sorry bro. Look whatever happens I’m here for you bro. Come here.

SFX: HUGS PUNCH TIGHTLY

PUNCH:                (sniffs) Thanks Moose. You like big brother to me.

MOOSE:               Yeah man, of course I’m your big bro. Except I think your bigger than me.

PUNCH:                (starts laughing)

MOOSE:               (starts laughing)

SFX: RUNNING APPROACHES IN DIRT THAN COMES TO AN ABRUPT HALT

BECKY:                  (Out of breath) You guys! You guys! Come quick! Grahm..(pants) and Brian are both awake!

SFX: RUNNING IN DIRT/THEN RUNNING/STOMPING ONTO FLOORBOARDS IN CABIN

PUNCH:                Grahm you awake!

MARYANNE:      Ah ah ah! Slow it down there Mr. Punch. Grahm is very weak right now. Let’s take it easy on him and not break more than what’s already broken. Hmmm? Now you two boys can sit in those chairs and visit for awhile.

PUNCH:                Yes Miss MaryAnne.

TIMMY:                And then after I ate all the mutfruit off the bushes I had to poop really bad but all I could find to wipe with was these shiny leaves. Turns out it was poison. Now my butts really itchy. Miss MaryAnne says it looks like a scorched mole miner back there! Wanna see?!

MARYANNE:      Oh no, that’s not necessary Timmy! Why don’t you run along with Becky. There’s some dirty dishes in the Mess Hall from breakfast.

BECKY:                  Aww do we have to?

MARYANNE:      Those dishes aren’t going to clean themselves now are they? Go on.

BECKY:                  Fine...come on Timmy.

TIMMY:                Yay! Dishes!

BRIAN:                  (Weakly) Seems like you’ve been holding down the fort just fine without me.

MARYANNE:      Well I’ve had a good Partner that’s taught me a lot.

BRIAN:                  (Weakly) Look MaryAnne, about what I said back at the...

MARYANNE:      Oh, don’t you start with that. Those are things we can talk about later. You just rest now.

GRAHM:              (groans) You two ok?

MOOSE:               Us? Bro we’re doing just fine. You on the other hand...

PUNCH:                Punch thought you were going to Die!

GRAHM:              (laughs and it turns into a cough) Grahm might have, but he have good friends to keep him around. Thank you MaryAnne.

MARYANNE:      Well, you are most welcome. Of course, I’d keep you around. No better tradesman in all of Appalachia. (giggles happily)

GRAHM:              MaryAnne.

MARYANNE:      Yes Grahm?

GRAHM:              While I was out, I have strange dream.

MARYANNE:      Oh?

GRAHM:              I saw this camp, other people’s camps, everything in Appalachia covered in mists and dark. Sky funny color…bad feeling. Ground feel bad…like old meat…something come from deep below. Something bad.

MARYANNE:      Well, I’m not surprised, the concoction I gave you probably caused all sorts of crazy dreams.

BRIAN:                  It wasn’t that.

MARYANNE:      Brian?

GRAHM:              It wasn’t what you gave him...because I had the same dream. Something is coming MaryAnne. Something big, it’s going to change...everything.

MARYANNE:      Brian, are you sure?

BRIAN:                  I wish I wasn’t, but yes, I am.

MOOSE:               Woah dudes this is getting a bit heavy in here.

PUNCH:                Grahm what do we do?

GRAHM:              Hmmmm. Grahm does not know. But Grahm know someone who might.

PUNCH:                Who?

GRAHM:              Same one who I saw in dream...the Mothman.

MOOSE:               You mean the bug guy who Solomon hangs around all the time?

GRAHM:              The same. We do not know what’s coming but Brian and I see future. Dreams not lie. Mothman could help us find out more. We must go see him.

BRIAN:                  Agreed.

MARYANNE:      What? Are you crazy? Brian, after what happened with Solomon there is no way I’m letting you get close to him again.

BRIAN:                  MaryAnne, Grahm is right. The Mothman was in my dream as well. We have nothing else to go on, we need to try.

MARYANNE:      But!

BRIAN:                  What is the scout motto?

MARYANNE:      (Reluctantly) Be prepared.

BRIAN:                  Right. We need to be prepared for whatever is coming. We start with the Mothman and go from there. Ok?

GRAHM:              Mmmm well spoke.

MARYANNE:      Fine! But You two need more rest, we leave in a couple days after your strength is back. Not before then. Agreed?

GRAHM:              Agreed.

BRIAN:                  Of course.

PUNCH:                Punch go?

MOOSE:               No dude! It’s been days. Chad and Pats are gonna be pissed. We’re supposed to be getting supplies to fix up the bar for the grand opening. We need to go home!

PUNCH:                Ohhhh…Punch want more adventure with Grahm.

GRAHM:              You go with friend. With family. We meet again.

MOOSE:               Come on bro…we can say…we can say we had like a shit ton of NukaShine and can’t remember anything.

PUNCH:                Member? Member what?

MOOSE:               Ohhhhhhhhh!

PUNCH:                AHHHHHHHH! (pause) What we say again?

MOOSE:               (sighs) Come on bro.

MARYANNE:      Okie dokie. As for the rest of you, there is work to be done.

PUNCH:                Ok!

BRIAN:                  Yes Ma’am!

`               SFX:  MULTIPLE FOOTSTEPS ON FLOOR BOARDS AND THEN ONTO DIRT/FADE IN THE DISTANCE.

GRAHM:              (sights long and deeply) And so it begins…

END SCENE 6/ TRANSITION MUSIC

SFX: WIND WHIPS VALLEY FLOOR. RAIN AND THUNDER. DIRT SHIFTS.

BLACKSKULL:     (Struggles to climb out of hole) Grahm…GRAHMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

SFX: ECHOES UP CLIFFSIDE. THUNDER RUMBLES.

RADIO ANN:       And so, we conclude yet another thrilling tale of BRIOGNAK THE BARBARIAN! And yet, a new chapter has just begun. One that is ominous and mysterious in nature as The Mothman himself. What is coming? Does our wise and holy cryptid hold the answers? That is a story for another time. Do not fret dear listeners for all will be revealed as this season comes to a close. Don’t touch that dial and stay tuned...because what comes next...you won’t want to miss.

SFX: RADIO STATIC.

SFX: RADIO SHUTS OFF.